_^NoWaKi^_

ORD OUH!

2008-12-11T12:37:00.004-08:00

Service Transcript, Certificate of Service and Testimonial
ORD OUH~!

Today is my official ORD date and just came back from collecting my Pink IC after not touching it for two long years.. Felt happy to see my IC again but at the same time, feeling a little sad coz i'm gonna miss the working life in the fire station.. Since now i'm back to working at Zone X at DTE E! Hub, gotta get used to the new working schedule which is kind of hectic..

After two years in NS and back to Zone X, can't say i forgot everything.. Just needed to refresh my memory a little bit but there was a little more work to do since the whole place is moved into the building.. People who used to work there aren't there anymore, even the supervisor has changed to someone else.. Except for one full-timer who has been working there for years and a friend of mine.. I got this job easily because i was recommended by her.. Now i got two friends who are currently looking for a job wanting to work at my place.. Gotta see the current situation of people, working schedule and environment before getting them to work there.. Its still kind of hectic.. Plus getting them to be hired may be a little difficult for me..

Recently i just bought Midnight Club: Los Angelos and Left 4 Dead for the Xbox 360.. I have officially quit playing WoW and went into console gaming.. Just felt like holding a controller instead of using a keyboard and mouse.. Completed Ninja Gaiden 2, Call of Duty: World At War and Assassin's Creed.. Gears of War 2 was completed together with my bro since we are crazy over it ever since the 1st game.. Now i'm halfway through L4D on single player mode.. I can't seem to play online with other players, but hope to play with Rachel (gamer girl on my link list) someday..

Pics of Double O

2008-12-05T12:41:00.007-08:00

Gulping down the drinks~!

Red already red already~!

WhaT!!! We still have those to drink??

BlEaHX~! Head and eyes feeling heavy~!

Gal that i danced with~! Ok i really dun look good here.. Can't open my eyes properly!

(Refer to entry on November 21st, Friday)

Birthday Presents

2008-11-23T19:43:00.009-08:00

Yeah can anyone believe i got this? No, i should say... There is a board game for this? Lol.. Unfortunately, i'm still single so i won't open it... Till i find one of coz~! And i will definitely use it with her.. So gals, BEWARE~! >=)

Well, this is kind of obscene.. No wonder my 2 frens were arguing on whose idea to buy this.. Now i know~! Hehe.. I had a good laugh though..

Something similar came by from another 2 frens, but this time its a different design.. Hehe~! I ain't hairy man.. Though the other 2 is true.. Oops~! =p

Billabong wallet~! Quite a cool design..

Got a necklace from Bits & Pieces.. Its shiny~! Fren asked me to wear it to clubs so i could attract gals with it sparkling.. LoL~! Well, i will give it a shot one day~! ;)

A shirt/sweater and a necklace from River Island.. Like both of it alot~! The design was kind of unique to me..

A shirt from Hush Puppies~! A casual design that fits me all the time.. Hehe~!

Hoho~! CK perfume sia.. Looks like i can skip from buying my next bottle of perfume.. =D

MARTELL~! Had a VODKA but finished it during my birthday bash.. It ain't cheap~! Gonna treasure it~!

Box of chocs from Lindt~! Love chocolates but its fattening.. AH~! So tempting man~!

A packet of Japanese sweets from meito..

Double O

2008-11-21T11:39:00.002-08:00

Last night i went down to Double O with my Rotamates.. My very first clubbing experience and it was... wad can i say.. havoc? Honestly, its fun and in fact i wouldn't mind going again.. Can say that i actually like it plus Dbl O is the cheapest in drinks for clubs.. Though it was my first time going there and had fun, i had to go through a little pain... Hehe~!

My birthday is just tml so my Rotamates were like pulling me along to join them at Dbl O to celebrate my birthday.. Could say i was the "main" character during that point of time.. Yeah as everyone can guess for a guy's 21st birthday and his first time going into a club, wad do u think will they try to do to me? Yup, get me dead drunk~! They were all like telling me their motives, saying that i must get drunk.. Ian brought his gf along which they just got together.. His gf wanted to play drinking games with me coz she knew i'm the birthday boy.. And so we did but her rules always change and i ended up with doubling the time gulping down the liquor.. It was just a simple game of scissors paper stone~! I didn't know how to play the other hand games (Failboat~! -_-).. And suddenly 3 gals appeared out of nowhere in front of me, and my senior was like asking me to intro myself.. (I was already @_@ during that time).. So i shook hands with the 3 of them, introing myself but when they said their names, my mind wasn't functioning properly and i didn't catch their names.. Hehe~! After awhile i was being pulled to the dance floor.. Hell it was crowded and packed.. (Its ladies night~!) And so started dancing like crazy.. From that moment i know i'm not myself anymore and just started moving my body.. It felt like it moved by its own.. Its like taking ecstacy~! Went back to my seat to chill coz everyone knew i was going wild and about to be out of control.. Went to the toilet to try to puke but nothing, its only after awhile then i puke... the first time.... And it was horrible coz the toilet was so far.. Andy was like quickly helping me to the toilet while everything was coming out on the way.. Here's the funny part, i went into one of the cubicles with a guy still peeing in there, and then when he saw me bending halfway with my hand at my mouth, he was like "Whoa~!" and then quickly move aside and get out.. Haha~! I dun really remember fully wad happen at the club.. I just remember that one of the gals that i shook hands with approached me and asked for my name again (Guess it was too loud to hear anything in there).. So i did the same and asked her name.. Her name is... Nah i'm not putting it here... =P

She asked me to go to the dance floor again to dance after puking.. I felt better but still giddy.. But the dancing made me able to hold in so me and her kept dancing for about i dunnoe how long.. She brought me back to our seats after that and i started to put my head down and close my eyes.. Everyone was asking me to put my head up and open my eyes, but its just too damn heavy.. And its really not recommended to do wad i did, coz after awhile, i went to the toilet again to puke for the second time.. And it was worse, on the way to the toilet it came out more then the first time.. Andy and Fardly had to guide me to the toilet as quickly as possible and i heard 2 gals screaming when they were giving way to me.. This time, all cubicles was occupied and had to puke at the urinal but it wasn't much (Coz most of it came out while on the way).. But then there was still some that i can feel in my stomach that needs to be out, so Andy did a "rescue choking" method which basically pressing in the stomach and pushing it up.. And yeah the leftovers came out.. Bleahx~! After the second time, i felt that i was back on my feet again but not totally.. I felt that i was about 70% myself again.. So it wasn't so bad and when i went back to my seat, everyone was like "Hey~! Ben is back~!"*clap clap*.. I was like just smiling and then started dancing again behind her.. She asked me "U come "back" already arh?".. And i was yeah~!.. She kept shaking my head whenever i lie my head down.. So to keep me from going down again, she dragged me to the dance floor.. Its also thanks to her that i had fun too.. Saw the time and she pulled me back to our seats and dance there instead..

We danced until the lights went on and that means party's over.. It was already 3am and its closing already.. She walked out with her frens while me and the others stay at our seats til almost everyone is out.. Went out and sat by the roadside awhile while the others get a smoke first.. I saw her again walking towards us and guess she was waiting for a cab with her frens.. So i asked Andy, "Should i ask for number?".. He was like up to me so i went ahead and asked.. But too bad she didn't want to give and asked for my number instead.. From there i knew that she ain't gonna call me.. Hehe~! I also took a peep at her phone's wallpaper.. Its looks like a photo of her and her bf.. I was thinking "Now i know".. But overall everything was really fun and exciting.. Oh, me and her took a picture by Amzar with his camera so the pic is still with him.. I dun even know how i look like.. Lol.. I will definitely go again.. sometime.. =P

Troubled Mind

2008-10-30T00:12:00.002-07:00

At this point of time i'm working so now i'm actually penning down my thoughts.. Just felt like writing since I have so much on my mind right now.. This is the first time i'm doing an entry on a duty day..

Its already past midnight and could say that everyone is asleep, or maybe some are still talking on mobile phones with their spouses or playing hand-held games.. But the lights are out and all of them are already on their "designated" beds (They use their years of service as a hold of the beds.. -_-).. So what am I doing still staying up and not sleeping when I should? Well, I just finished ironing my uniform for Commander's Parade on the 31st Oct.. Another thing is that I can't sleep at all.. Guessed its becoz I just came back from a fire call which was involving the smell of gas coming from a school gate.. (What more it was my primary and secondary school that i studied at) The problem was, the smell's actually just some garbage that came from a nearby dump.. -_-... Before going for the call, I was actually kind of asleep, but as usual I dun get the best out of it.. I've been having difficulty sleeping the past few nights, or u could say its been already more than a week that I have been like this..

Maybe its becoz of that incident that happened recently.. And so my heart felt heavy and kept thinking about it.. Everytime before going to sleep, I can't help but always think of her.. Her smiles, eyes, voice, features and all, I really miss them.. And yet I'm sitting here, not being able to do anything like actually calling/smsing to ask how is she doing.. I just can't do it since the both of us knew that I am backing off to give her some time.. All I could do at the most now is just to take out my phone and look at a picture of her.. I really miss her.. I so feel like talking to her and looking at her smiles.. Really makes me feel like a goner when i used to meet her and talk.. Now its so hard for me to even lift my phone to call her.. What can I do now? Nothing since i've already made a grave mistake that made her lose her trust in me.. Two nights ago, EV read my previous entry and decided to ask me about everything.. So I told her from point A to Z.. Honestly, I dun really know what's her impression of me now.. I just wonder is it the same as "her"? Though EV told me that she dun hate me but just disappointed about what I have done, i really appreciate her for giving a listening ear.. Still at this point of time, i wonder how she feels about me now..

So now i'm thinking whether do I still have a chance with her? And does EV still sees me as that "Mr Nice Guy" in her eyes? I dun think i will be going thru a good time soon.. I guess I'll end my entry here and better get some sleep.. Got to be up in about four hours time.. Ciaoz~!

Answer: "Good And Bad"

2008-10-27T13:42:00.004-07:00

Days after the recent incident that happened, i asked myself wad was i really thinking.. I had some time to think after everything that happened.. And realised that i didn't just have an answer, but two of them.. Good and Bad.. Unfortunately, i only managed to tell her one which is the "bad" answer and now, my chance of being with her is totally gone..

I remembered that i had two answers before that incident happened.. The "good" was that i really like her and of course naturally, i would wanna be closer with her.. The "bad" was actually just getting back at her of wad she did a few months back.. I only told her the "bad" because i know its not right and there was a guilty feeling from it.. But thinking back, i was also thinking y did i actually even thought of the "bad" answer.. And even then, why didn't i tell her the other truth? Which is the "good"? I asked myself y did i only gave her the "bad" answer.. And i realised that even though telling her the "good" one, it won't change anything.. All because i still have the thought of thinking up the "bad" one.. She was right, that i was still conscious to be able to think.. I really wanted to stop everything because i didn't only have a "bad" but i also did have a "good".. But y did i end up going further? Was it really because i wanted to get back at her? Or was it because that i really like her and just wanted to get closer? Now i come to realised now that the real answer was more to being to the "good"....

But i just couldn't tell her just the "good" part.. Because i know, i would still have that guilty feeling if i kept the "bad" in my heart.. That's y i couldn't tell her and i just told her the "bad" answer.. I just couldn't say the "good" because i was so confused and so afraid that she would think i made up a lie during that time.. I didn't want her to think that way and even now, i still i can't tell her that i really like her before the incident.. That i didn't just do it for revenge, but a way to show that i really like her.. Though it was the wrong way and i knew it, i just wanted to be closer with her.. Now i'm in a situation where i can't turn back.. She hates me and doesn't want to see me.. Worse of all, i lost the trust that she had of me.. And she already made a final decision regarding her school.. Honestly, i dun even dare to even call/sms or meet her.. Even though she said that i could still call and once in awhile to meet up.. I just dun think i can do it.. Because all i want now is her forgiveness and a second chance.. I'm just waiting for that time to come..

I'm silently still waiting for her.. I told her it was kind of a punishment to myself.. And since i recently met her to talk abt it once again, she at least is taking her time to reconsider everything.. Its gonna be a long time, but i know its worth the while.. I really miss her now though..

Will You Find It With Me?

2008-10-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

Love prevents you from realizing "love is too much of a burden"
before it turns to hatred.
Ain't it the same for everything?
You always put a lid on nasty events, turning to a false reality.
In this era of twisted dilemmas
even we two who exchanged a promise
cross each other without realizing.
Breaking each other, we've abandoned the idea of understanding one another.
Is this the end that awaits us?
Even as I rise, unable to acknowledge this,
I won't run away from the image of my fall.
Ah, no matter how many times, I'll look out for these eyes of yours
and the warmth of your hands.
You whispered, "love always hurts me."
You must've been crying, scared of believing, weren't you?
Know your weaknesses and grow strong
by believing and not being afraid
and you will know true love.

Song by UVERworld

Song is dedicated to........M..
I hope we can find it together side by side..

3 Months

2008-09-19T13:03:00.008-07:00

Wad's that on his ass?

Eeew~! Wad sticky substance is that? O_O~!

LoL~! I guessed we woke him up with the commotion~!

Mass "unconscious" casualties~! Hohoho~!

This sleeping position... Kind of stiff isn't it?

This is cool~! I took this because i have a fren who's nickname is "Lostzx".. Wanted to send this pic to him.. Haha~!

Taken from my room.. This is just too beautiful to miss~!

Been a month now since i updated.. I've been having fun with frens and WoW.. Guess i forgot all about updating my blog then.. Haha~! Some thing have changed though.. My Rota Commander and Deputy RC has changed and so i have new bosses now..

Well, my 2 new bosses are very nice.. In fact, my DRC is a total different from my previous one.. My Rota is like from the most "on" to most slack now.. Its cool since i can openly talk with them about anything.. Hohoho~! Been rushing myself with my frens in WoW to get better stuff.. Feels good to have the sense of satisfaction when ever i get something new.. Its good that i have them to run together with me in places where solo-ing is impossible.. Thanks to them, i'm quite geared~! Though there were bad times and suddenly someone whom seem to quit wow for about 2 months came online, we all managed to face it.. And its kind of crazy saying this, but i managed to save up money while playing WoW.. Wierd theory for people to believe, But those who play WoW should understand wad i'm talking about...

My title "3 Months" is a meaning of something happy and sad at the same time.. It shows how long i have left in my NS before i ORD.. I remember when i first came in to NS, i was wishing that time would fly and finish my NS.. But now, i dun feel like leaving because i'm having so much fun working with my Rota.. I was asked to sign on, but i rejected coz i wanted to further my studies.. But at least, i learn lots of cool and crazy stuff during all this time.. I will definitely treasure these last 3 months of NS..

Out Of Control

2008-08-20T21:28:00.002-07:00

Why did he have to make that face? -_-..

This is a good white wine that was introduced by Cedric.. I guess it has become my favourite for now.. Hohoho~!

This is the view from my hotel of the slums of Indonesia.. Just had to take pics of it since i have not been out of Singapore for years.. Reminded me more of Malaysia though.. Lol~!

I ordered an Ice Lemon Tea, but the guy taking orders looked kind of stunt and so my colleague changed it to Ice Tea.. And surprisingly it came like this.. "Tehbotol".. Its basically Singapore's "Teh-O peng" that comes in a bottle.. O_o..

What the hell is this brand of cigarettes? "Lucky Strike"? "Death Strike" would be a better name for the pack to me.. Anyway it cost less then $3 in Singapore currency.. WtH~!

Just came back from my 2 days 1 night trip from Indonesia this morning.. Been so long since i last went overseas.. I couldn't even recalled when was the last time i actually stepped out of Singapore.. I just know that its been way too long..

The whole trip just consist of 5 people.. We all went there straight after duty on Tues morning.. That explains the tiredness that i'm experiencing now since i didn't really sleep well when i was there.. But of coz it was fun.. My colleague has a friend there so he was sort of our tour guide and stuff.. We traveled on his van and passed through the slums while on the way to the hotel.. Passing through the slums got me thinking that i'm lucky to be living in Singapore.. The roads were not maintained, hardly i see police post(saw only 1 suring my whole trip actually), people were selling newspapers by the road sides, no road traffic law and guess wad? There is even hardly a traffic light to be seen! LoL~! But my colleague told me that an accident dun occur.. I was like "O_0".. In Singapore, there is tons of traffic lights all over the place but we still get so many road traffic accidents.. Where's the law man? There are alot more of wad the people do in the slums.. Its really so much different from my own country.. Could say its like a "kampong" feeling.. Anyway me and my rota-mates enjoyed ourselves with drinks, food, KTV, a little bit of gambling and chilling out.. Kind of cool and a nice experience..

Alrite, just after reading a fren's blog, i guess things are going way out of hand.. Was it a wise move or a grave mistake for telling stuff to her about YI? I mean i can see wad i can see and damn, VS is in sort of.... I can't even explain it! What can i do to make VS change her mind? Though she did tell me before that telling her won't change anything, but still, i won't wanna see the same thing happening again rite? Since my first experience was already a killer and a painful one.. She knew my situation and understood wad i said to her.. And i really appreciate a part when she said that i was the nicest guy out there.. Didn't know that in her eyes, i was still that "nicest" guy.. Thought i was already condemned after so many things that happened before..

So before things actually go out of control, what can i do to convince VS that things will go out of control if the matter is still ongoing? My case was already crazy and painful enough.. I really dun wanna see the same thing happening again..

Always Myself

2008-08-13T18:33:00.012-07:00

Went for enforcement check at Loyang area and found this place.. This is the real thing man.. Dun see them often unless you're working there yourself.. Though i was asked not to take the pic by my commander, i just couldn't help it can i?

This was taken during the NDP 08 while i was on standby at Kallang Stadium carpark.. Everyone was so engrossed to the TV~! -_-|||...

This only consist half of my whole Rota.. The other half are busy with other stuff (Including the one taking the pic)..

This month's a busy month.. Gonna be kind of hectic since there are so many things to be prepared for.. NDP(done), IPPT(tml, -_-), Audits, Inter-Rota games, Weddings(Won't complain for that), Batam trip.. Wad more? I guess that's about it..

The past 2 weeks when i go to work, people who knew that i met a new girl at Bugis(See post 30th July 2008) kept asking me "Have u asked her out on a date?".. "Hey, u asked her out already anot?".. "Asked her out for a movie or something lah".. "Are u even making any progress?".. "So how is it for u and Hazel(Her name)?".. One even asked "So how is Nutella?"(Nutella consist of (Hazel)nuts.. Took me about 20 seconds to figure out wad he was trying to mean).. Ok, so all this questions kept pouring to me.. But the best part was i dun even know how to answer them.. Some say i was really bold to just asked her for company.. Made me feel like i could just be with anyone.. (I felt kind of "big headed" after hearing that.. Hohoho) Though recently the questions have slowed down since those who asked are now on long leave, bound to always have another who would ask.. One of my Rota-mates who talked to me on MSN even told me "but what a pity still single for a gd looking guy".. (That made me even "big-headed".. hehE~!)

Yeah i know some are even trying to push me to go get a girlfriend and stuff.. One of them even said that all the NSFs in the Rota, including the one that ranked most hated, fattest and ugliest fire-fighter have a girlfriend.. Y dun i have one? I just told him that its not that i dun wan, its the gals who doesn't want me.. He didn't really believe me i guess.. Well, i'm just being myself as always..

Fall For You

2008-08-04T10:12:00.001-07:00

The best thing about tonite's that we’re not fighting
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core..

But hold your breath
Because tonite will be the nite that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind

I won’t live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonite will be the nite that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible to find

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep

And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonite when you’re asleep

Because tonite will be the nite that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonite will be the nite that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

What Did My Heart Meant

2008-07-30T10:23:00.002-07:00

When i started to look back at my phone's messages and photos, i realised that my heart stays the same as before.. That feeling of wanting to get something won't shake it off.. Sometimes i asked myself why am i still fighting for something that is already unlikely possible.. Friends told me that i just needed time and fun.. Yeah i did, but everyday i still thought about wad those messages and photos meant, wad my heart meant..

On the 24th of July, Thursday, i met a stanger in one of the most unlikely way of meeting somebody.. It happened when on that day i went down to Lavender to collect my passport and after that, i thought of going down to Bugis to do some shopping since its just a train stop away.. Went around alone looking for stuff that interest me.. Passed by Samuel & Kevin and went in to take a look.. There was a bermudas section that was on offer saying 2 berms for $49, Since 1 is $35(I think).. So i had to make 2 choices and designs.. Unfortunately, i wasn't able to make out a second choice as i was standing there for ages and had my first choice in mind.. There was a girl just standing beside me who was also looking at the bermudas section.. She asked the salesman to get her the pair she chosed and i did the same.. Suddenly, she came asking me whether if i was buying 1 or 2 pairs of berms as she too only could make up 1 choice and couldn't find another.. And that we could share if i was just buying a pair to make the benefits out of it.. I told her that i too couldn't make a second choice and so we bought the berms together.. She gave me the money and i casually asked her whether she was shopping alone while paying up.. She said yes and i asked her a second time with a surprised look.. This time she replied to me with a smile and an answer "yeah".. My friends told me that was a lame question, but i just had to make sure whether if she was with someone rite?

Payment was done, she said thanks and walked out of the shop.. And then in my mind i was thinking, since she's shopping alone and i'm doing the same, i could just ask for some company if she didn't mind rite? So i went up to her asking whether she don't mind shopping and walking around together.. She said she didnt mind and we started to introduce ourselves.. We walked around more, going in to other shops while talking more about ourselves.. Bought more of our stuff and she had to go as she had something on.. I was planning on going back too so we walked to the MRT station.. Talked more while waiting for the trains to arrived.. Her train came first and she wanted to leave with just a goodbye, but i stopped her to ask for her phone number.. She gave me her number and she left.. Miss called her and my train came a minute later and i boarded back to my neighbourhood.. Wad a way to know a girl eh? Haha.. Told my friends about it and they were kind of impressed.. One even told me that he wouldn't dare to make that move to as for company after she left the shop if he were me.. But honestly, when i did all those like asking her for company and number, i didn't feel nervous at all.. In fact, i was just on a friendly term and just made my move.. It was only a few days later that i kind of knew wad my heart really wanted..

Some of my friends asked me when am i dating her out, catch a movie or something.. I just told them not now but in fact, i actually never thought about asking her out.. Though i did had fun telling my friends about how i met her, showed pictures of her to them(I got her friendster add that's how i had the pics) but i seriously didn't think about asking her out.. I can say that she's intelligent, tall, street smart, sporty, hardworker, a sense of fashion and quite a pretty face.. Things that most guys would want out of a girl.. But i knew that she isn't the one that i want.. Because i still followed wad i wanted, wad my heart wanted.. I knew the odds of the possibilities, yet my heart still followed it.. Was it because that i'm foolish? Am i wasting my time? Am i just chilling and making any progress? These were the questions i asked myself because they are also wad my friends tell me.. That i am foolish, wasting my time and some asked me to just chill and let the progression come to me..

The future is still cloudy to me even though i knew wad my heart really wanted, but the question is wad my heart really meant.... to that someone..

Give Me A Break

2008-07-23T23:49:00.009-07:00

Alrite.. First things first.. Its friends and family that's always the main source of problem to almost anything.. How it all started? Its as simple as just asking a mere question but made it a joke in the end.. And the best part is that its the most illogical question of all..

First was my family that involves my older bro and my dad.. Just a few hours ago they were like almost trying to kill each other.. They were throwing harsh words to each other which i haven heard in awhile(Not that i want to hear it).. All i know was that my mum never had some peace and quiet after a long hard day's work.. She ended coming to whisper to me about her problems and everything.. She even conclude that i'm the only one who can give a listening ear to her.. Irony huh? All i know my mum told me was my bro gave a sarcastic reply to my dad when he already hint my bro not to do it(Its very stupid so i won't mention wad is it).. And then they ended up in an argument.. Wad's worse was that my sis-in-law was around so it wasn't a very nice scene i guess.. And up til now they aren't talking to each other.. I always wonder y my bro hated my dad so much..

The next thing was that i'm playing an online game with a fren(Names cannot be disclosed as to protect the other party).. And so yeah we talked and we were very open, so i just mention something related about the red light district and got a little heated up.. Conversation started like this..

[Me]: That night after u left, where did u go?
[Fren]: Go home lah..
[Me]: Really?
[Fren]: My dad wants to use the car so had to go home early with it..
[Fren]: You thought i go to Geylang arh?
[Me]: No.. coz u look like u were rushing off to somewhere..
[Me]: Talking about Geylang, wanna go tonite? =X
[Fren]: SET!
[Fren]: I dun mind i anything one.
[Me]: Lol.. i was just joking.. =P
[Fren]: F*%k Off
[Me]: Lol..
(After awhile)
[Fren]: Anything u can joke
[Fren]: But not about Geylang
[Me]: O_o? y?
[Me]: Y is it a sensitive issue to u?
[Fren]: Bcoz it excites me
[Fren]: Would u like it if someone jokes about something that excites u?
[Fren]: U make me feel excited and my imagination were running wild..
[Fren]: then u say jk..
[Fren]: then my dick was like WTF..
[Me]: Aye~! y u so sensitive? its not like i joke with u abt this topic for more then 5 mins leh..
[Me]: It was just a min that we talked abt it..
[Me]: Its not like i played with ur time and feelings rite?
[Fren]: I dun care.. u must go with me tonite..
[Me]: -_-
[Fren]: wad time u wanna go?

After that i couldn't be bothered to reply him.. I mean it was just a mere joking question but he took it so seriously.. So much that he had to explain it in quite a sarcastic way.. Damn i'm not gonna mention anything that is related to things like that anymore..

Fool Again

2008-07-18T23:02:00.004-07:00

Guess my blog is the only place to be able to pour my sorrows out.. Why is it when i like someone, it always end up being in a love triangle? Its so that i ended up being ditched away when my hopes and feelings when more then what i expected of myself.. I couldn't help it.. We can't really control our feelings whether to like or love someone right?

I know of a girl whom i knew by ear about 5 months ago.. We only met each other a month ago and things for me were developing quite fast for me.. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same for her.. It all began when a friend told me that he just met this hot girl whom he wanted to chase.. Showed me her picture through friendster and he was happy about it.. About a week later, he told me they were together already.. Surprising eh? And so life when on and didn't really bother them since i had my own problems to deal with.. Though occasionally i asked my friend of how were the both of them doing and stuff.. Definitely the good and bad stuff are out, but that's part and parcel of a relationship so i assume everything is normal.. But things didn't go wad it expected to be.. My friend had been doing things behind her back.. Things that i wouldn't want to do if i'm with someone i love.. I won't say wad it is, but things that can hurt the other party real bad.. And regrettably i had to be there to witness all of it.. It didn't feel good but at the same time, i couldn't tell her of the things he did.. I do not want to see a relationship go sour and destroyed because of me.. Guess it was the phobia i had.. I told things to my frens which i felt they needed to know, but i ended up being labelled "big mouth" and so that got me..

I knew almost everything about wad he wanted to do.. I knew he was gonna hurt her bad, but i did not know wad to do.. And then everything happen so fast, it was just about 3 weeks ago that the relationship was broken.. I wanted to talk to her.. Try to comfort her but i guess it didn't really go well.. Then so i appeared to help her in any ways i can.. She's still so in love with him even though i told her the negative things that he did.. Right up til now all she could think was him.. I helped her in anyway i could to ask him to talk to her, give in to her wishes and regard it as the last of it.. I even met her to comfort and talked to her.. Since she needed someone who knows him to talk to badly, all i could do was to assure her that i would be there for her.. It was also around this time i developed feelings for her.. And out of the blue on a night, that i met her for a drink and comforting her, told me that she had feelings for me but wasn't sure.. My first reaction was kind of happy but at the same time i knew it was wrong.. She was confused and lost at that moment because she just cried out her sorrows that night.. And she just broke up so she needed lots of attention especially coming from a guy she like.. And so the more i wanted to help her.. The more i wanted her to forget about him and move on.. Not really because of me, but for herself..

And so my feelings slowly developed as i went out with her to do the things she wanted, company her to a place where she wanted to do something.. I took it as dates but she didn't.. Basically, i spent time with her and at the same time, helping her to move on.. Sat down and talked alot more about ourselves.. Though most of the time she talked about her ex, i kept cool and let her share wad she needed to.. We got a little closer by meeting up more often.. And i thought things were developing good and steady.. But i was wrong.. I ended falling in love with her but she couldn't do the same.. Asked advice from other friends.. One told me that she was indirectly using me, like a rebound, but i have the upper hand and he asked me to just keep her company.. But be careful not to step onto my own trap or i would end up being like in her current state.. Another told me to just ask her to be my girlfriend and not waste time.. I did ask what if it is a rejection, and he told me that at least i know the answer and she would be playing with my feelings, and then i could move on too.. I didn't really want to believe wad they said.. Because i knew her feelings for me was there for quite long and just went on slowly with her.. She even told me of how she was attracted to me, wanting to write about me in her blog and stuff.. Even a time when she said that when she forgets him, she will be together with me.. It was like an assurance.. Things that kept my hopes higher and ongoing.. But things didn't turn out the way i expected to be..

Just yesterday i got an unexpected answer from her.. An answer that i was mentally prepared with but didn't expect it to happen.. She told me the feelings that she developed for me might just be admiration or infatuation.. Told i had warnings from her along the way that her feelings are unsure and telling me not to fall in love with her, i still couldn't help it.. She told me that everyday she was still thinking of her ex and even think of him as a motivation to do her work.. I'm amazed as she was the first girl that i seen to have a thinking like that.. She told me that her feelings for me wasn't there anymore.. Hearing that was hurting.. I didn't really know wad to say.. And at that point of time, she sort of blamed me for not telling her everything when they were together and i waited til everything is over and then i spoke.. I felt that she was angry and had some hatred towards me.. From that point, i knew it was really over for me.. But somehow i didn't want to be angry or anything.. I still felt for her.. Just a little disappointed to hear an unexpected answer.. And today she gave me answers that really broke my heart.. I raised up the topic again when i met her and i could see her face.. Angry, annoyed, frustrated while looking somewhere else and talking to me.. Saying things like we never dated or anything and we have just been talking all these while.. And she just conclude that we will just be friends.. That was my most hated sentence to hear.. All i could say was too bad for me.. That he entered her life first instead of me.. But i knew, if he didn't enter first, i wouldn't have too.. If i could, i would really want to turn back time and change everything.. Seriously he was lucky to have a girl like her.. Just that he didn't treasure and love her the way it suppose to be.. The way she does things for him makes me really envy them during their time together..

I always wanted someone like her.. Too bad she told me that she might not do the same for other guys besides her ex.. I did ask her if waiting was possible, but she said she doesn't know she will have that feelings for me being reignited and i would be wasting my time.. From that point, i felt that she really just wanted to treat me as a friend and nothing else.. Sad though.. Someone did ask me "What's this thing we have with each other?".. I couldn't really defined it so i asked around.. And i finally knew the meaning of it.. A meaning that sort of relates to my current situation now.. Though i do miss her voice and face now, i can't believe that I'm the fool again..

The Melancholy Of Friends

2008-06-06T09:49:00.004-07:00

Its almost 4 months since i last typed an entry.. Could say i was lazy to type, busy with family, work, friends and WoW itself.. Much have happened during this months and i dun really want to blog it all out, so i'll just type wad i can in here..

Just wanted to talk about wad is really called friends, or maybe the importance of it.. Many things when someone have helped somebody through a favour, that someone is being sort of left out after helping.. Very contradicting eh? Well, that's wad happen most of the time.. And internal conflict starts to run across the word called "friendship".. But i noticed all by myself wad were the flaws of everything.. In fact when it was discussed with me from each one of them, it all still comes from the seed of it.. Its very sad to know this since i was also affected by it.. It really hurts and it got me very disappointed.. My part was that the importance of me was overcome by the seed of the problem.. Felt like in the eyes of someone whom i care and treasured, i'm less important then the seed of it.. Really sad..

Sometimes i feel that whenever i'm on duty for the day, something in between the friendship always crops up.. Either the day in on duty itself or the next day when i'm back from work, a new story appears.. I'm not complaining that everytime i have to hear all these arguments or conflicts when its not my problem.. Its good that i get to hear them since i'm a good listener and i needed to know the problem.. I never leaked out major secrets that some tells me but all i could do was give adviced to them.. That sometimes it must be shared in the open so that everyone will know.. Did that once and it was half good and bad.. Though sometimes that can be fatal..

Its sad to know that this "seed" is the source of all problems.. I never knew that it was powerful enough to bring out the nature of my friends.. All this while i supported and helped them in any ways possible, but still feel that the word "friends" have a melancholy of it..

Happy Lunar New Year

2008-02-12T21:57:00.000-08:00

First of all Happy Lunar New Year to everyone~! Though its been a few days but actually the Lunar New Year last for 15 days under the chinese calendar.. Haha~! Lots have happen since I last blogged my entry.. Crazy things always happen..

Honestly, CNY week for me was kind of crap.. Though i do get "ang paos"(red packets where money is stuffed inside) and meeting up with my relatives which i only see most of them once a year, my time was always spent in a chalet.. I took leave for 2 duties so i was off for about a week during CNY.. So practically almost everyday, i was at the chalet spending time with relatives which i didn't really want to.. And the problem was i didn't stay there for even a night so i had to do alot of travelling back and forth from home.. In addition, the chalet is located deep inside Pasir Ris park and its very inconvenient to travel inside since the roads are narrow.. Because of this i wasn't able to find the time on going to my friend's places for visiting and spend time with them.. Still managed to go out with frens and have fun, but thats like only during the wee hours in the night, coming back home at 2-3am and sleeping at 6am.. It sucks though, but there isn't anything i can do about it..

Jeremy started playing World of Warcraft with us about a month ago.. Kind of shocking he was willing to play since its P2P(pay to play).. And also surprised to see him interested in the Warcraft fantasy.. or is he not? I dunnoe.. Maybe he just played so he could just catch up with me and Alex.. For me, i'm quite a fan in the Warcraft franchise.. Only a fan of this particular one while others are not interesting to me.. Dun ask me why coz i myself do not noe.. I even bought the fantasy novel and started reading since the start of this year.. Plus i'm a person who DON'T read books so can anyone believe wad i'm saying? LoL~! Interesting book though.. Of course since i'm a fan of it and nothing else.. I guess that Cedric felt kind of left out when he saw the 3 of us playing WoW.. He was even grumbling saying that he wants to play after he ORD(He's ORD-ing next month).. And also saying that he wants to play Final Fantasy 11 online.. I dunnoe how's he gonna do that since subscription is by debit/credit card.. He doesn't have either one of it.. Well, guess i'll see wad's he up to when he ORD..

During the CNY week was also kind of sad coz i have a fren cum Section Commander who just ORD-ed 2 days ago.. CNY week was sort of his last week for duty and that whole week i was on leave because of CNY.. So my last duty working with him was the start of the month.. Kind of sad because he's a true genius in Maths.. He even came out in a SCDF magazine with a page all about him.. He's flying this Friday morning to Australia to continue his studies for 2 years.. Sad to see him leaving Singapore but its also for his own good.. All i could do was wish him good luck when he's flying abroad to Australia.. Tommorrow night there would be a gathering among the fire-fighters to give a farewell party for him at Seoul Garden(Sounds like the last supper for him -_-~!).. That would be the last of seeing him and saying goodbye.. That's all i can say for now CiaOZ~!

Last duty with him, so had to take photo before he ORD~!

A Dream Or A Nightmare?

2008-01-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

Its been 2 weeks since i last blogged and lately there weren't much firecalls which is a good sign.. Just more paramedics and ambulance going out to help people with medical attention.. HehE~! I was on leave 2 days ago so i had ample time to wad i want to do most..

Lets go on to the topic of the title today.. I had a dream last nite where i couldn't different shape whether is it a good or a bad one.. A dream where i used to have a crush on this person (The fact is i do not even know whether i still have a crush on her).. My dream started when i was getting ready for a jog and doing warm-ups before i start.. Then my crush and her fren was walking along the pathway passing me in PT attire.. They weren't perspiring so my guess was they were also warming up before they start jogging.. I was ready to jog and so i started and caught up with them still walking.. I ran passed them and then about 2 seconds later, i heard them saying "Come, lets get started already!".. So they caught up with me a little and her fren said that she wanted to go ahead first.. So my crush and I ended up jogging together and we talked alot during the jog.. When i knew her, I wasn't very close to her so we didn't talk much(In real life).. But this time it was different, we talked alot about ourselves and also had alot of fun talking to each other while jogging at the same time.. The next thing i remember was that my dream suddenly "brought" me and my crush into a car, where she was lying half-conscious in my arms and her fren was in the front seat.. I do not know who the driver was as i directed most of my concern on my crush.. I asked her fren "Doesn't she have a boyfriend?" Her fren told me they were no more together and so my guess that she was lying in my arms was she didn't take care of herself after they broke off.. (In real life, I saw a guy fetching her back from work before and my guess was that is her boyfriend) My face was near her face for some reason after that and then her head tilted out with her mouth trying to touch mine.. As if it was like her last kiss to me or something and so i kissed her as well..

With my eyes closed and awhile later, my hands were touching her face, but that's when sort of my nightmare came.. While my hands were on her face, i felt that her face was very rough for some reason.. I didn't believe it at first and with my eyes still closed, my hands were going for her forehead instead.. That part was kind of rough too(The roughness felt like she had dimples on her face).. Then i opened my eyes to see it for myself.. It was quite shocking but wad i saw was that her face colour changed to abit greyish, her face filled with look alike dimple scars(That explains the roughness of it) and with her eyes half-opened.. As if she was like dying and that's where dream ended and i woke up.. I wasn't perspiring or anything but just felt more sleepy and almost when back to sleep..

Its a wierd dream but i felt like this dream was kind of a deja vu.. I dreamt something like this before(Only the jogging part).. But that was like way long ago.. So i wonder if something was going to happen to my crush.. I'll see how things will go.. CiaoZZ~!

Happy New Year 2008!

2008-01-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

First of all Happy New Year to everyone~! Its the new year 2008 and wish that everyone and myself have a blissful year ahead.. As usual today is my first day off and i just woke up from my long nap since i came back from station at about 12.30pm.. Celebrated new year in the fire post.. LoL~!

Since my last blog entry, was kind of busy with frens and work in the station.. Just after my last entry, i had a week's period of leave and that was the time when Cedric's chalet and birthday was on.. Although it was only a night on the 21st Dec, the main organizers who were Cedric, Alex and myself was rushing to get some utensils, food and dricks for the chalet.. It was quite hectic throughout but everything went well after settling with the food and stuff.. During the chalet period, most of Cedric's platoon mates came by and along with some of his friends.. Our other frens came by too and it was quite lively there.. Met quite a few new frens there and find that they are a bunch of very interesting people.. Didn't sleep that night too coz Cedric got a bottle of Martell out of nowhere and asked a few of us to join in a game and whoever loses have to drink up.. That part was kind of danger as i can't really hold down my liquor.. Fortunately throughout the whole game, i only drank twice if i'm not wrong.. Only so happen or luckily, its the birthday boys who lost most of the time (There were a few birthday boys besides Cedric).. I was a little hot after the drink and just closed my eyes in the room awhile.. But i ended up not sleeping after that for some reason.. Started talking to one of Cedric's frens and there were lots of noise since everyone was doing something.. So i guess that's y i couldn't sleep..

After the chalet which was on a Sat, there were only 5 people left and they are Cedric, Sui Kai, Wendy, Hui Xian and myself.. We went to BK for breakfast before heading back home to end the day.. Had alot of fun in the chalet and it felt real good to meet so many interesting people.. On that very night, Cedric came down with a fever after taking an afternoon nap.. The plan was Alex, Jeremy, Cedric and myself wanted to go HIGH for LAN gaming but only ended up without Cedric at the scene.. So we played til late and ended the day again.. The next day, Cedric and Jeremy came over my house to chill a little around in the late afternoon.. And Cedric came up with a plan again to go HIGH for gaming in the night.. I was like so afraid that i might actually go broke during that week since it was over my budget limit.. But we all still went with Alex along and Ver played from home so we made up into a team of 5..

Went back to work on Christmas day.. Didn't mind since i've had my long "holiday" and my work is based on shift timing.. One thing good was on public holidays there will be no drills and exercises.. So that's the advantage of working on a public holiday.. I only attended one rescue call on the 28th Dec where a toddler accidentally locked himself in the kitchen.. So cute~! He doesn't know how to open back the transparent sliding door leading to the kitchen so we had to break open the lock.. And it was running around looking at us wondering who are we.. LoL~!

Yup that's about it up til now and again wish a Happy New Year to everyone~! Ciaoz~!

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

2007-12-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

Came back from work yesterday and now i'm having a week's leave and will be going back to work on Christmas.. Today's title is as u can see just above of this entry is related to my work 2 days ago.. Haha~! Kind of scary, painful and nice feeling that i have on that 24 hours duty..

First of all it came in with the "bad" because it was early in the morning when work haven't even started.. Since i have a week's leave, i have to get my leave forms sign by my Rota Commander but the fact was she hasn't arrived to work yet... So i went to look for my SecCom who shares the same dormitory with her and also at the same time asking for recommendation to go on leave.. Just so happen that i saw my RC coming towards the dorm and quickly asked my SecCom to let her sign when she entered the dorm.. That was a mistake i made because i'm actually bothering my RC even before starting work.. So my Rota was falling in for taking over of appliance when my RC came up to me with a scary face and my forms saying "Disturb me early in the morning, next time i will reject then u know!"(I think that's wad she said).. Although she did sign the forms, but that was kind of scary to see her seriousness.. Hardly i get see my RC's ugly side so that's why i feared a little even though she said it softly and with the serious face.. I shared with 2 of my SecComs about this but they said she is just joking, but it doesn't really look like she was joking.. -_-~!

Next came the "ugly".. This one hurt me real bad man.. Don't like it since it really hurt my pride.. It was just a simple task but my SecCom just couldn't ask me properly to do it, instead he shouted at me to do it.. Although he said sorry and was just joking, it kind of hurt since he added something else... He was holding the door open but i just stand there looking and waiting for an answer from the outside.. I felt that he stared at me awhile and then he shouted at me "Hold the door lah F%#ker! PTE right?"(My rank).. At the point of time it felt like an arrow just came through my heart and it hurts til my tears wanted to come out.. After that he laughed and said "Sorry Ben" with a smile.. I know he didn't mean it.. Just that when my rank was mentioned, it hurt my pride alot.. Because i missed my promotion last month, my rank stayed the same and i have to wait til next February for my promotion.. It really reminded me on that day when i missed my promotion.. Hurts like hell and took me sometime to stand back up with the Rota again.. I almost lost my faith with the Rota actually, but i realise that its none of my Rota mates fault, its just the admin guy who didn't submit my name for promotion..

And now comes the "good".. I was assigned to go to the fire post for standby.. Everything went normal and usual.. No fire calls so we all just did our own stuff and continued to standby the whole day.. Nightfall came and i was assigned to do desk duty from 11pm-1am.. I went to sleep after night lecture at about 9.45pm, but my sergeant woke me up at 12am and told me its my turn.. I was like "happy" because i only have to do desk duty for only an hour.. So 1am came and i went to wake my other colleague up to do the front desk duty.. When i came out from the dorm and headed to the front desk again, i saw a Civil Defence vehicle parking behind the Red-Rhino.. It was my Officer Commanding of my station.. I quickly went out to greet him and was commented abit by him for being alert and for not sleeping at the front desk.. I was like "Thank you sir" the whole time and after that he left... My colleague wasn't out from his bed yet and i ended up calling 4 times to get him out of his bed.. It was about 1.30am when he came out to do desk duty.. I was kind of pissed at that time but i couldn't be bothered with him.. In the morning at 5am when my section is up and awake, i told them that our OC came down at about 1.10am to check on us.. When we went back station, i was commented again from my Deputy Rota Commander for doing a good job looking after the front desk.. And that's when i heard that another Rota's fire-fighter was charged 5 days Detention Barracks for sleeping at the front desk.. I was like WoOT~! @_@~! I guess i'm lucky that i have my Nintendo DS with me all the time..

Haha~! So this is the entry of all that happen in just one day.. Kind of hilarious when i think about it.. Guess i got to put myself to be more alert in future duties.. Oh yes, i started playing back World of Warcraft and i bought a new Samsung S5 mp3 player for myself.. Just in case of my frens who doesn't know, dun be surprised when i have something new in my pocket.. CiaoZ~!

BAPT

2007-12-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Second day off today and i'm relieved that i have finished all the tests that this year has.. But my last one was a horror.. Really reminded me back of when i was a recruit in the fire-fighter course.. And that test is called BAPT(Breathing Apparatus Proficiency Test)..

Among all the test that existed in SCDF, BAPT was the most "xiong"(tough) test that i ever went through.. A test that really consist of mentality and endurance since the whole test we are wearing our full gear and BA on.. Basically the test consist of donning full bunker gear with the BA on within 1 min 15 secs.. That's the easy part and definitely everyone made it through.. Now comes the tough part of the test.. You will move on to a fitness room that consist of 4 stations.. They are called treadmill, impact machine, bicycle and the endless ladder.. My first station was the treadmill.. The easiest station of all where u just need to walk 7 km/h for 2 mins.. My second station was one of the tough ones which is the impact machine but still i made it through.. The station requires u to pull 25kg(using a pulley device) down from head to ankle 20 times within 2 mins.. It sounds easy and yeah.. We just need to use our body weight and a bit of our strength to pull it down.. But what matters is the breathing part where it makes your body difficult to workout.. The BA itself weighs about 13kg altogether and the air we breathe in is compressed air.. Our body's air intake for every breathing is about 3 to 4 bar(pressure) from natural/open air.. But the BA only gives u about 1 to 2 bar each time u breathe.. So after working out, definitely we will tend to breathe heavily and so i was breathing quite hard and fast through the BA(Not allowed to take out the facemask and if the air in the cylinder runs out before u finish the test, you fail)..

My next station was the bicycle and then i thought everything went the same way for me when i was in my recruit times.. So i rode the bicycle which was ok since i just need to maintain a certain speed for 2 mins, but its still tiring since it was after the impact machine.. And now here comes my worst nightmare.. The endless ladder~! This particular machine works as a moving ladder(like an escalator) and we have to climb at least 30m.. I was like so exhausted and it was hard for me to breathe.. And i was unlucky that the endless ladder was my last station(The endless ladder is the toughest station of all).. Climbing 30m within 2 mins.. Like i said it sounds easy, but its not.. I climbed my first 5m and it became as difficult as hell.. And then i realised i was climbing for free without the meter counting for about 20 secs.. I was like "what the hell" .. It was stuck at 5m until my head went up abit more then it started counting again.. I made it through and hit the 30m mark and it took me about 1 min 30+ secs.. I was starting to feel giddy, difficulty in breathing since not much air was given and tiredness has got into me.. The test was not done yet.. We still have to go through a maze called the "BA maze" where u have to work as a section to pass the maze.. I was in a dazzle when i came out of the fitness room to proceed to the maze.. My body actually went one side but i told myself to keep going and finish it off.. It was difficult and the maze is mostly in crawling position and is quite dark.. So carrying the BA with head mostly tilting up to see where u are going.. Its tough for the neck and now its aching bad.. To make it worse my BA facemask has lots of scratches on it so my vision became worse.. Since i was the second men, i was able to see the front person moving to wherever he went.. Teamwork was essential and it really shagged me out during the whole time..

The average time to complete the maze is about 8 mins and so after coming out of the maze, i went out to open air and took off my facemask.. Still exhausted and giddy, a fren of mine quickly pulled me to the water cooler to have a sip of water.. Everything was over finally and most of us went to eat lunch but i was too fatigued to be hungry and so i waited for everyone to come back before we head back to station.. I still felt giddy and fatigued even when i reached back to station til around the late afternoon that i started to feel better.. And yesterday i went home with my shoulder, neck, thighs and calves aching quite badly.. This is worse then IPPT.. Had my mum to massage me and i was screaming all over the place.. Yup and that's it for now.. Ciaoz~!

A Boatload Of Events

2007-11-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

Been more then a month since i last blogged.. Hah~! Been busy with lots of stuff.. Like test, outings with frens and clearing my leaves.. Although the leaves makes me free.. O_o~! Since the date of my last entry was on the 12th Oct, i'll try to remember wad event or any crazy things that took place since then..

Ever since i last typed an entry and til now, one of the things i could remember was that i took a total of 4 duties leave~! That felt so good as i get to rest up during those days.. I didn't take 4 duties straight in a row of course.. Its 2 by 2 if anyone thinks i did take 4 duties straight.. My first 2 leaves was on the 20th and 23rd of Oct.. When i took leave on those 2 dates, i kept thinking that i chose the wrong dates to take leave because on the 26th, i had a HRCT test and thought it would be actually better to work as we would be able to revise and practise together.. And on the 23rd i even went on a cycling trip with one of my SecCom from Tampines to town area and back.. Was shagged when the cycling trip was over.. Did my HRCT when i went back for duty on the 26th and up til now, the damn results are not even out yet.. -_-~! But i did everything confidently although there were a little screw ups, i'm quite confident that the results won't be a disappointing one.. Not much happened and most of the time i was staying at home.. It ended up that i saved a quite a sum of money since i was always at home.. Guess that's at least one of the advantages of staying at home.. Money won't be spent at all.. Haha~! Was watching animes, japanese dramas and playing games to keep my boredom away..

A few days later came the month of November.. My first duty of the month was the 1st of November itself.. I didn't expect anything as i thought it was just a normal duty day and i was posted to the fire post.. Around in the evening i received a call from a fren who was assigned in the station.. He told me that my juniors who were a batch before me was promoted to Lance Corporal(LCP) while me and Ian who is in the same batch as me didn't get promoted.. I was like thinking in my head "Is he playing a trick on me or wad?".. How can my juniors get promoted before me and Ian? So i thought he was playing, i didn't really care and just carry on with the things i was doing during that time.. Then i remembered that the month of November is the promotion month but still i couldn't believe was i heard from my fren.. Wanted to call my juniors to ask whether is it true that they got promoted, but i just let it go and just wait til the next morning to go back to station and see it for myself.. After a short while, my RSM(Regimental Sergeant Major) came down to my fire post to do a quick check on us.. The first thing he came in, he asked me "Ben, why are u not promoted?".. When i heard that, my mind went kind of blank for a moment and i sat down and went into a deep thought.. When my RSM left, i talked to my section commanders who were in my section about the promotion.. They too got a little surprised and kept thinking wad was our RC(Rota Commander) doing..

Still i didn't really believe wad i just heard and waited til the next morning.. I really wanted to see the outcome of the promotion when i reached back to station.. I kept cool and carry on with the night.. Went back to station the next morning and went up to my locker room to put down my stuff.. It was during that time when some of the SecComs were talking about the promotion.. One of them spat out something that i wished that i didn't have to hear it.. He said something like "Ben, from now on, you have to listen to Andy's(my junior) orders.. And since u didn't get promoted, u are lousy!".. Although many others around took that as a joke, i didn't think it was.. It wasn't funny although he was smiling when he said that.. In fact, i was really pissed off when i heard that and left the room after unpacking my stuff.. I went down to the watchroom area to get my leave forms done as i was going on leave again on the 4th and 7th of November.. And so happen that the watchroom's fire-fighter was Andy.. When i opened the door to enter the watchroom, saw Andy's shoulder with a LCP rank on.. I got really down when i saw that and i just walk passed as if nothing had happen.. Did wad i needed to do and fall in for our morning routines.. During that morning, i was sort of depressed and my morality to do my work was really low... I kept thinking that maybe it was my performance that i didn't get promoted.. But i also knew that i did my best for my part.. My RC was on overseas leave so there wasn't any way to ask her about the promotion.. I was waiting for this day to come but it became a disappointing one for me..

When we handed the station over to the incoming Rota, my Rota could hear cheerings from the incoming Rota because the juniors who were also the same batch as Andy got promoted as well.. I still remember how it felt that day.. I felt that i didn't have the face to face anyone in the station and also felt like i was made a fool of everybody.. Everybody was talking about it when the juniors got promoted.. Everywhere i go i always hear it.. Like some of the SecComs were touching the juniors shoulders with the LCP rank on with a praising sentence along with it.. It was right in front of me when that happened.. I quickly left that area with my leave forms on my hand, looking for my DRC(Deputy Rota Commander) to sign it for me.. Then another thing that made me even demoralize was that my DRC didn't want to sign my leave forms as he might need me to come back on my leave days.. That almost made my tears rolling down from my eyes.. I really had no mood to stay in the station.. I quickly handed over my appliance and get everything down in the station and left without a word.. I took my leaves as a "getting over it" session since i won't be going back to station for about a week.. I couldn't care about anything that's happening in the station.. My previous SecCom who used to be in my Rota, called to sort of talked with me about it.. Everybody kept thinking it was my RC's crazy mistake to promote the juniors instead of me and Ian..

When i went back to station after my long leave, i was approached by my RC as she came back from her overseas leave.. She talked to me about it and she herself was shocked that me and Ian didn't get promoted.. She told that it wasn't true that she doesn't want to promote me and Ian.. It was an admin error that made everything looked so complicated.. The admin assumed that my RC didn't want to promote me and Ian and instead went to submit the forms for promotion for my juniors.. In my head was "That admin f**ker~! Wad the hell is he thinking?".. My RC also comforted me saying that it wasn't my performance that i didn't get promoted.. She said that me and Ian were doing very well and she had no reason that she wouldn't promote us.. She even went to talk to the higher heads for a redo of the ranks but it was too late.. I felt relieved after hearing its not because of performance wise and my morale went up a little although i was still dreading over it.. Days passed and eventually i have to do wad i need to do.. So i didn't really want to let the promotion matter bother me too much.. Our payday came but it was short $120.. Not only me but the other NSFs fire-fighters and SecComs had the same problem.. Consulted our RC and the answer was that the admin didn't submit our meal allowance to the finance department.. And we only have 1 admin who works in the station.. So its also the same admin that didn't submit the promotion forms of me and Ian.. I got really pissed with that admin.. No wonder no one likes him.. Been hearing lots of negative stories about him..

Everything went passed quickly and also i felt that at this period of time.. I think i'm in love with someone.. I have not talked to her yet but currently i'm finding a chance to introduce myself to her although chances are low.. Yup, seems like somehow my feelings are being activated again by her.. Until then i hope i would get some good results.. CiaoZ~!

Taking a break during the cycling outing on 23/10/2007 at Kallang Stadium area~!

Lovely Complex

2007-10-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

Woke up from my afternoon nap about an hour and a half ago.. Tired as usual.. Today is my first day off and the only off day for this week.. -_-~! I'll be on duty tml and on Sunday.. A 48 hours straight duty @_@~! No choice as i'm covering one of the Rota fire-fighters because its Hari Raya for him tml.. Of course, personal deals are made with only specific people knowing.. *evil smile*~!

Ok, lets not waste time on talking about work.. Lets go on to something else.. Lovely Complex~! Its a story of a girl, Koizumi Risa, who is taller then any average girl and a guy, Atsushi Otani, who is shorter then any average boy building a relationship from a comedy duo to friendship and into romance.. Risa can be impulsive and strong-willed at times, and is rarely willing to display her softer side.. Ironically, her name means 'little spring'.. Risa first developed feelings for Otani and started to confess to him but failed the first time.. Her friends tried to help while she was on the verge of giving up.. She tried to tell Otani once again that she likes him.. Otani responded that he couldn't see her as a girlfriend yet, so her new goal is to make Otani regret that and make him like her as well. Like Koizumi, Otani's name (roughly, "big valley") is a pun on his diminutive stature, and he can be thoughtless and rude; at heart, however, he is kind-hearted and a little silly. Otani is also the star player of the school basketball team.. (Names are Japanese style of calling so their last name is in their first) The story came out out in the manga(comics) series first.. Then to the anime and into the live-action movie.. The anime series just ended and I could say its one of the best comedy, romance anime that i ever watched.. It has 24 episodes and the story is told by Koizumi Risa herself and its really worth the watch.. For those who are looking for romance animes, this is one the recommendation..

I don't read the manga as i don't really read books.. But of course the manga is the very first to released its series.. I've watched the live-action movie.. It was ok but many say its not as good as the anime.. Well, they squeezed the whole story into a movie and they changed the scenes abit.. What can i say, its a movie after all.. Haha~! CiaOZ~!

Lovely Complex~!

Atsushi Otani and Koizumi Risa~!

Otani and Risa~! Live-action movie version~!

My First RTA

2007-10-09T23:46:00.001-07:00

Came back from work this morning and my first day off is about to come to an end.. Well, but i did experience a tragic incident while i was on duty yesterday.. Guess i will start off with the day before my duty which was on a Sunday..

On Sunday i went out with Stewart and Xing to AMK hub to get some stuff for myself.. Since Xing is going into NS which was just this morning that he entered, that day was the last day i saw him with hair.. HehE~! We didn't really do much that day.. Just spent most of the time travelling here and there.. We also had BOTAK Jones for dinner near Yio Chu Kang MRT station.. Its a western food shop that sells wallet friendly western delicacies in coffee shops.. Went back straight home after that and it was about 8.30pm when my bro came back with his fren, together with a Playstation 3 console.. O_o~! Haha.. Finally i could play Ninja Gaiden Sigma which he bought it before buying the console home.. -_-~! Played abit here and there and then i went to do my stuff before going to sleep..

The next day was my duty day and had to wake up at about 6 as usual but i remembered i had a dream that night.. I could only remember that in my dream my phone rang and i picked it up.. Surprisingly it was my ex-girlfriend, Iris, who was on the line.. Her voice was cute as ever and she told me that its been awhile since we last talked or something like that.. We talked more but i couldn't really remember wad was the conversation.. All i know is that i had to get up in the morning and prepare to go to work.. It was a Monday and so Monday Blues got into me.. I always don't feel like going to work.. But well, this is NS and i dun like taking MCs because it would be too troublesome for me.. As usual, report for duty and carry on with the normal Monday life(Everyday is the same actually).. Did our scenario drills and was suppose to stay in station as i'm assigned to the DO pumper.. Just so happen that last minute........... Its quite a crazy story so i just cut it short from here.. I switched with my batchmate Ian to the LF at the very last minute when the LF was leaving the station to fire post.. -_-~!(Ian is always like this.. A last minute man~!) Reached the fire post and as usual i did my own things over there and stand by at the same time.. Nothing much happen til our first firecall at about 3pm..

Our intel reported that there were loud exploding noise that can be heard at a multi-storey carpark.. The best part was the multi storey carpark was just beside our fire post.. lOl~! Reached to the location but there weren't any signs showing.. The DO pumper came down with the police to do some investigation but there wasn't really anything.. DO pump went back to base while the LF proceeded for hydrant testing.. After hydrant testing headed back straight to fire post for standby.. My SecCom was looking after the front desk while the others and myself..... went to the dorm and sleep.. (Not allowed during office hours, we could have gotten ourselves killed) Everything went by normally until at about 5.47pm, the fire alarm rang and all three of us rushed out of the dorm and got into our fire gear.. Quickly we jumped onto our LF and headed to the location.. Intel said there is a RTA(Road Traffic Accident) in Tampines area.. We were wondering why didn't the LF from Tampines dispatched and instead it called us from Pasir Ris.. My SecCom said this call is the real thing while on the way there.. My PO was speeding the LF to the location and we met the DO pumper on the way there.. Arrived to the location and there were lots of people from the public watching from a distance.. The ambulance crew was already there doing what they could..

The accident consisted of a motorbike and a van.. When i got down the LF to witness the scene, I saw a person being pinned down right under the van.. It was the rider from the motorbike who was delivering McDonalds if i'm not wrong since he was wearing a McDonalds delivery uniform.. He was moaning every second and the paramedics were doing their best at scene to stablize and ease his pain.. Me and the other fire-fighters, Ian and Andy, were tasked to get the Air Bag set to lift up the van so we could pull the casualty out.. Me and Ian set up the air bags and gave it to our SecComs who were about to go below the van to place it underneath.. We were also asked to bring tons of hoses to stablize the vehicle wheels from moving.. After that we were tasked to look out for any hazards that could happen while working on the casualty.. My OC came down to supervise and also gave some quick advice on the scene.. It was really tragic and there were lots of blood.. I even heard the casualty yelling to the paramedic in Malay "Hey, hurry up and get me out of here!".. The paramedic who was holding his hand replied back "Bear with the pain a little longer, we are getting you out soon!".. My SecComs were all below trying to get the van lifted up while the fire-fighters supported and get whatever we could.. The casualty was finally pulled out and brought upon onto a stretcher.. The paramedic who was beside me supported his head and she told me to get a cervical collar for her so that they could stablize his neck as in every RTA incident, we assume the casualty has spinal injury.. His face was bloody along with his knees and hands... There was also tyre markings on his stomach.. The paramedic kept talking to him and asked him to open his eyes.. He opened a little to indicate that he's still fighting and the medic said "Good".. One of the medics asked me to hold the drip for him as that gives breathing air for the casualty.. Headed to the ambulance and quickly get him in to rush to the hospital.. My DO and some other SecComs did some investigations with the police while the others were making up.. The LF went back first for standby in Pasir Ris.. From then on i was hoping that the casualty will walk out a fine healthy man..

DO pump and the LF from Tampines(Finally they came down) were doing investigation on the scene up til about 8 to 9pm.. We had another firecall at about 8.30pm and it was a rubbish chute on fire.. Unfortunately our response time was late since it was raining heavily and our windscreen wiper was down plus we couldn't find the place.. After putting out that small fire, headed back to post and did our CAAD before turning in for the day..

The next morning when we headed back to station and sadly, we received news that the casualty passed away in the hospital.. It was really tragic.. Right before my eyes he was still alive fighting for survival.. I was really hoping and i thought he was going to make it through all the way.. Unfortunately he had to go to some place far away from here.. Asked my frens and my mum to pray for him.. That was the least i could do.. I felt really sorry for his family.. But we still have to go on with our lives.. I just wish that he would rest in peace..

In the newspaper under the HOME section on 10 Oct 2007

Basically i'm the one in the centre with silver stripes in all 3 pics.. I was holding the drip in the first 2 pics..

A tragic and fatal accident..

World Of Warcraft TCG

2007-10-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

Today is my second day off and i woke up like 7.30am in the morning.. I realised that my off days i'm getting up earlier then usual.. And its getting more earlier and earlier.. Used to always getting up at about 10am during my off days, then 9.30am, 9am, 8.30am and now 7.30am.. -_-~! I guess i'm an early bird if i really get used to waking up in times like this.. Can't help it anyway.. I always get up in the morning at 6am at home when i'm going to work and 5am when i'm waking up for rollcall in the station.. Guess thats why my "early bird" mode is always there...

I introduced Hua Liang a.k.a Flower Light(no offense if u read this :P) to World of Warcraft TCG(trading card game) since he played the game online.. Used to play the game before i went into NS.. But i sort of quit as i dun really have the time and money to play.. (Although now I do but i will be quite hardcore on the game and i can play it for hours non-stop) I'm quite a hardcore fan of Warcraft so i can really do crazy things for it.. I'm currently collecting the series of WOW TCG and i'm still stuck in the first series out of 3.. But i'll be done soon i guess.. Hua Liang got interested since he was a WOW player.. Invited him to my house so he could create a card deck for himself.. Finally i found someone that i could duel with.. Its been about a year since i last used my deck for duels and started collecting..

Went into NS and had to pause on my collection and money became tight when i was in my 4 months of recruit life.. I only had the weekends to spare but i'm always spending my time with my frens as they are important to me.. Didn't have the time to actually concentrate on my collection.. And so now that i'm quite stable in my NS life, i went back to collecting WOW TCG and finding the type of cards that is so called "RARE"..

Collecting was hard as i had to buy booster packs of cards to try my luck in getting cards that i do not have.. So there was one way that i did was ordering it from overseas... Haha~! Though it was quite expensive, but i find it well worth as i ordered 42 types of rares for almost the price of a box of boosters in Singapore.. Where a box of boosters consist of 24 packs with a rare in each pack.. Plus those packs might have the rares that i already have.. So i think it was really worth it.. But here comes the hard part of the collection though.. The ones i ordered were all the cheapest pricing for the type of cards i got.. There were a bunch i didn't buy as those are like kind of expensive and as of i know, its almost as ex in Singapore.. Basically that if the prices are high, they are the harder ones to be found and owned by anybody.. Left 33 out of 361 types of cards left.. Hope i can get all of them soon..

The parcel from overseas with the 42 cards there were in it.. I just took it for fun :)~!

The 42 rares that i got from overseas.. HeHE~!

Goodbye To You My Trusted Friend

2007-09-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

Just came back from duty and it feels like a long time ever since I last did my drills.. HeHE~! Had 2 calls for the appliance i was in yesterday.. Some alarm went off at Dunman Secondary School but there wasn't anything showing and another case where there were arsonists got a blaze burning in a rubbish bin and ran off.. Stupid calls though~! Wad more is that they ran off with motorbikes~! That means they are at least 18 years and above.. Still playing with fire at this age? Heard it was 2 malay guys who did it.. Gosh can't they just let us sleep in peace?

Anyway recently my Rota received word that 2 of our NSF SecComs are going to other Rotas.. Sadly, one of them is a very good friend and brother of mine.. He's my favourite SecCom and he too laboured me as his favourite fire-fighter(I think i'm still his favourite fireman though~! O_o~!).. We had alot of s**t and fun times whenever we are on duty together.. I'm gonna miss those times like doing hydrant testings, watching DVDs in the fire post and laugh our ass off, having meals together, talking cock and the last but not least.. Turning out with him when there is a firecall~!(Especially when we are in the LF~! XD~!) Its really quite hard to get by when u face this kind of situation in NS life.. Friends just come and go.. And maybe u might not be able to see them again.. That's when memories of NS life comes in..

Anyway life must go on and its not like i won't be able to see him again.. We are just in a different Rota but still in the same station.. Whatever happens my friend, just stay happy and strong always~! CiaOZ~!

My favourite SecCom.. A good friend and brother~! Stay happy always~!
I look kind of untidy coz i just finished drill..

I was pointing at another fire-fighter as he ran pass the camera when the camera man was about to press the button.. Haha~! And the pic ended up like this.. -_-|||...

New Guys Must Take The Blame

2007-09-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

Its my first day off and had quite a long nap in the afternoon.. Just so happen to wake up at dinner time and so i went to eat my dinner(I'm going to be a pig sooner or later if I continue like this).. And so yesterday I was on duty and i'm assigned to Pasir Ris Fire Post.. I was with SGT Shafeeq as my SecCom, SSG Oh as our driver and PTE Andy was the other fire-fighter..

Basically, whenever i turnout with Shafeeq, its about 70-80% that there would be no firecalls for the day.. Plus an addition with with our driver, probably the percentage would be a little higher.. Andy is one of the new guys that came in to our Rota a few months ago.. Although he's new, I could say that he's quite good in his firemanship skills(Maybe better then me O_o~!).. So yesterday we were at the fire post for standby and we were doing our own stuffs like watching movies and other "illegal" things that we are not suppose to do during both office and non-office hours.. And we had like 3 fire calls altogether -_-~! The first one was around 2 plus in the afternoon.. Our intel said that a rubbish chute was showing smoke from inside.. We arrived there in less then 3-4 minutes and there was smoke from inside.. Opened the shutter and *PoOf*.. Quite alot of smoke but guess wad, there is no fire.. The smoke was from people who do fogging in rubbish chutes to kill pests that loiters in it... -_-~! Went straight to hydrant testing after that since we are already half don of our fire gear.. As usual hydrant testing is like getting cooked under the sun.. We get to see water coming out, but we can't really do anything like cooling our body down with it since we are wearing so much stuff.. So tempting~! *SiGh*.. Took us about an hour or so and we went back to the fire post for standby.. It was just less then 5 mins when we reached back the post when a firecall came again.. We were like "Oh s**t~!".. Get ourselves don with our fire gear and out we go with the LF.. This time it was some teenagers playing with fire but according to Andy, he saw people running away upon our arrival.. We found some burned stuff inside the dustbin which is lying on the floor and there was still smoke with its burning smell.. The most wierd thing is that there was a group of school girls sitting just next to the dustbin.. We asked them whether did they witnessed anyone playing with fire and didn't they smell anything burning..? They said no plus they didn't smell anything.. I admit that the smell wasn't that strong but couldn't they see the smoke that was coming out? The group of girls said that they were there 15 mins before we arrived at the scene.. So we were like, really didn't see anything or they just dun wanna admit it?

My driver suspected its that group of girls but the police came after that.. So we handed over to the police for investigation and went back to the post after that.. I was wet all over and even at my pants when i took out my fire gear as the weather was scorching hot during that afternoon.. Continued our normal routine of dinner and night lecture.. We did CAAD(Its a chemical agent drill where we just need to exercise while we are in our CA suit) after night lecture and while we doing doing it halfway, another firecall came along.. And all of us again shouting "OH S**T~!" as we are still in our CA suit.. We quickly don off our CA suit and put on the fire gear as fast as possible.. Intel said that there was a sound of explosion at some void deck around the corner.. Upon arrival we searched the area of the block that we were informed of the explosion.. Walked around and there was no sign of fire, smoke or people gathering around in any area.. Ask nearby youngsters around there and they said they didn't hear anything.. So it was a false alarm after all.. Damn all these stupid calls.. And we always thought that whenever myself, my SecCom and my driver turnout together, we won't have firecalls.. So we all pointed to our new guy Andy.. Its a trend in our station that we always blame the new guy whenever there was a few firecalls for that certain appliance with that guy in it.. Just like me when i went into station for the first day, I was assigned to the DO pumper and there was a HDB flat completely covered in flames.. I was that only new guy there in the Rota since the other one that came in with me was on MC.. I still rememeber that Huzaifah(one of the ORD-ed guys) was a good guidance who support me setting up the hydrant later when i needed to rush to get hoses after setting up the parts on the hydrant..

After everything was over, we packed up our equipments and were getting ready to leave.. And that's when some of my seniors said that this occured because of the new guy which is me.. I was like "Haha, I guess its a welcome to Tampines Fire Station for me~!"(Read the post on "Welcome to Tampines Fire Station" under the April archives for the full story of it).. I guess every new guy must always take the blame for this kind of situation.. CiaOz~!

Doing hydrant testing.. Andy look so SiAn~! Guess its because of the weather..

Doing CAAD with SGT Shafeeq.. Guess which is me~!

The 3 silver stripes guys posing for the camera~!

So Happening

2007-09-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

In case everyone's wondering why i didn't update my blog for like 1 and a half months.. Well, its been a hectic time for me.. It was quite hectic that i didn't feel like updating my blog.. Lots of "happening" things are going on one by one and it sucks.. I will try to remember as much as i can.. The frustration feeling is always there for some reason..

Hmm, wad i can remember is about Ver and Chun's stories during my recruit time, the most firecalls of the day, BCLS test, my recent injuries i had from a bicycle accident and a stupid physical recall that just happen today.. Start off with Ver and Chun's stories first.. Its about during my recruit life when i wanted to chase Ver but everything went out of hand.. It was quite horrible because i felt that she was playing with me behind my back.. That was the story that i thought it was for 8 months, until one of the days in August when Ver, Cedric and myself went for dinner at Simei Eastpoint's Eigtheen Chefs.. There is a waitress working there where Cedric wanna make his move on(Courting her i mean).. Quite beautiful though XD.. That day Cedric asked Ver why didn't she choose me as her steady that time and went back with Louis instead.. I couldn't really remember wad she actually said because it happen so long ago and i wasn't really into it.. Only when she said that Chun and Jeremy went down to her dessert shop during December period, and were the ones that asked her not to go with me because i am a very "touchy" guy.. Very told me that she was an edge of choosing between me and Louis.. And that's one of the decision that i was crossed out.. My mind and heart opened up when i heard her saying that.. I went up in a flare and Ver was kind of surprised as she covered her mouth, assuming that she said the wrong things.. I was so mad that i even walked away when Cedric said some things that i wouldn't want to listen.. They caught up with me and managed to calmed me down.. I apologised to them after that..

When i got home, I temporarily blocked the contacts of Chun and Jeremy on MSN.. I didn't want to talk to them for awhile so i could cool down.. And somehow Chun managed to find out that i blocked the both of them.. I felt backstabbed by them at that time because i have gotten quite close to them during the months of May, June and July.. I have been helping them with their relationship abit here and there.. Like giving advices on maintaining their love(I've been there and done that before XD), helping Jeremy in training at the gym to prepare for his NS and helping Chun on planning and setting of Jeremy's birthday celebration.. That's why i felt cheated and used like a fool.. Cedric planned another meeting at Eighteen Chefs again but this time with Chun and Jeremy so i could hear their stories.. Alex came along too because he wanted to try out the food at Eighteen Chefs.. And he had no idea wad the hell was going when we were talking about my case.. Chun and Jeremy came but they were late for some reason.. First thing when the both of them sat down, Chun already gave a very black face to everyone.. And yeah, the answer is that she's angry with me.. Angry because i blocked them thinking that it was for no reason.. We asked them about that time in December and i wanted the truth from them... Chun said that it has nothing to do with Jerky and then she started explaning.. She told me that they were talking about going steady with who as they were in the gal's toilet... -_-~! This time, she said it was Ver who said that i am a very "touchy" person and that's why i was crossed out.. Chun said she was just following her words and just nod her head without thinking.. Adding on was also that Chun told me that Jeremy and herself did not meet her/go down to Ver's dessert shop.. And so now i've heard both stories, i planned to actually bring the both of them out so that we can clear this complicating case.. Unfortunately, Ver didn't have the time as she spends lots of time with Louis(I understand your case Ver).. And Chun asked me to dropped this case since its so long ago.. But well, my decision was to put it on hold.. Anyway, now that the both of them is not in talking terms because of me, its better to solve this then dropping it..

Next is about the numerous firecalls from Tampines Fire Station.. Firstly i wanna say that Tampines Fire Station is a, well, many people state it as a "boring" station.. But on that particular day when i'm assigned to the CPL(Combined Platform Ladder), there was like more then 10 firecalls~! It was the most firecalls in a day for me since i entered into the station.. In the day, evening and even in the middle of the night.. There was one call when the CPL is activated.. Its about 1.40am in the morning.. And guess wad, i missed that call.. O_o~! I was in a real deep sleep that time because there were so many calls that day, my mind was switched to off mode.. When my SecCom came back, she came waking me up telling me i must go for firecalls and i can't afford to miss it.. I was like "Wad the hell just happen?".. I didn't know there was a call that time.. If my OC knows about this i would be in a hot soup.. My Bad~! Recently i just took my BCLS test(Basic Cardio Life Support.. Something to do with CPR).. Its a must to pass the test or we won't get our skill allowance.. -_-~! Well, the results are not out yet so i hope i pass..

A week ago i had a bicycle accident.. To me it wasn't major but its not minor either.. I had wounds on my right elbow and feet.. And its open wounds.. Up til now its not healed yet and it got very frustrating for me.. Plus i was on duty 2 days ago and my wounds opened up.. My elbow was wrapped by the paramedics in the station for a little protection but that didn't really help.. My wounds can't really get into contact with water or it will be an open wound.. But i perspire alot since i'm a fire-fighter.. My feet wounds was bad too because i have to wear boots when i'm working.. Unfortunately, the wound is on a part where my boots is always in contact with even when walking.. So there is definitely friction over there.. It was painful and i had to endure the pain with an open wound til i go home the next day.. My SecCom asked me to get Iodine for my wounds.. I went to buy it straight after work and apply it when i was at home.. And F***, the pain was so intense that i wanted to bite myself.. I shouldn't have went for that midnight cycling.. I went with Stewart and Xing Jie.. I was very reluctant to go at first because i didn't want to go home too late.. But Stewart kept pestering and forcing me to go.. I didn't really agree actually but when Xing said we will just cycle around Tampines, i just headed on but i didn't say a word.. We cycled along Tampines and that's where Xing said to Stewart "Let's go to Changi Village".. I thought he was just joking as he was smiling with some bad intention face.. We went pass Loyang area and that's when i had my accident.. Wad happen was I overtook Stewart and then Stewart sped up just to overtake me.. I increased my speed because i didn't want to be left behind.. Stewart then ride along beside Xing, that's when i felt that he slowed down and i was just behind him.. Because he suddenly slowed down beside Xing, i couldn't brake in time as Xing's bicycle brake isn't very responsive.. My front wheel got into contact with his back wheel and a grinding sound occured.. As we all know that bicycle's front wheel is where we control out directions and the back wheel is always going in one way.. And so the grind got me out of control with my direction and i flew off to the right while Stewart is perfectly fine.. The best part was that i was just wearing a T-shirt, knee length bermudas and sandles.. So practically most of my body is in open air.. I felt pain at my right elbow, the place where it also affected my joint area and a part of my feet near my ankle area.. And sadly all these wounds are all open, the types that takes like centuries to heal since its at my joint too(Okay that's too much).. When i got up and getting on my bike to look for a place to wash my wound, i asked "Why are we going the way that is leading to Changi Village?".. And the answer i got from Stewart was "Xing want to go there wad~!".. And the way he replied was with an irresponsible smile as he looked at me.. Wad i'm trying to say here is that, he is giving an "its has nothing to do with me" feeling to everyone.. Although i didn't say it, but i was quite mad inside of me.. But i couldn't be bothered as i have to quickly find a place to wash my wound..

And so a week has passed and from then i didn't contact Stewart for the time being though he tried to ask me out.. My wounds are not fully healed even though i have done what i can do.. Guess it takes alot of time to heal and i'm on duty tml.. Hope i can survive through tml.. I had physicall recall today and had to rush back to station for a rollcall.. And with my wounds hurting me quite badly in every move i make, I had to endure all the way and it wasn't easy.. After that I went to service my phone since my phone was severely damaged during that fall.. And according to the salesman, its going to take about 2 weeks to a month before i can get back my phone as they don't have a spare stock.. I have to agree since its still under warranty.. Luckily i still have spare phones at home to use.. And that's how everything went by.. It sucks to have all these crazy things coming one at a time..

Anyway i changed my blogskin to a World of Warcraft background since i'm quite a hardcore fan of Warcraft.. Alrite i've been typing for 2 hours.. I guess its time for me to go.. Ciaoz~!

There's A Fire... In The Fire Station

2007-08-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today my second day off le and tml is National Day for Singapore... -_-~! So sian.. Must do duty on National day somemore.. Well, at least there is no drill tml and i'm going to Tampines Fire Post for standby.. To an addition, i'm going with people who i am comfortable with.. (NS life always have the good and bad guys.. Jerky will experience soon~! HehE~!)

My last duty was kind of shocking though.. Why? Coz 3 days ago, on Sunday night, there was a fire..... IN the fire station itself on the 5th level storeroom.. -_-~! My OC was talking to my Rota about it.. Though it wasn't our fault, we still got grounded for some stuff.. Like we can't smoke during office hours.. (Luckily i'm no smoker~! HAHA..) Y does it have to be us anyway? I mean we didn't do anything plus we fire side guys only handle the 1st and 2nd lvl of the station.. Its the division guys who accidentally started the fire for not disposing their cigarette buds properly.. HaiZ~! And now we are in the "danger" period as a new officer just came into our station.. Things just keep coming to a worse eh? Such an embarassing thing to know.. About having a fire inside our fire station.. SaD~! Another thing is also i have not been turning out for any fire calls lately.. Is it just my luck? Or is there a season for it to have fire calls for me? How long has been since my last fire call...... Hmm..... I guess more then a month already.. That's practically more then 10 duties.. T_T~!

People have been laughing at me saying that i still have to work on a public holiday.. I mean of course i have too... Its a 24 hrs thing and i get offs almost everyday.. Wad more can i ask for? And it actually feels like i'm not serving my NS at all since i get to go home almost everyday.. hahA~!

My New Bicycle

2007-08-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

Have been pestering my mother about getting a new bicycle since April for traveling to work.. She said no during that time though, but i manage to get one now.. Haha~! Went to GIANT with my bro to get it in the early afternoon..

Unfortunatly, i had to ride the bicycle back home while my bro drove the car back.. When i reached my housing area, i felt kind of shagged~! LoL~! The seat was to low when i had it tested out, so i went to a bicycle shop nearby my house and got it's seat raised higher to my comfort.. HehE~! From now on i dun have to ask my parents to fetch me to and flow from work..

My New Bike~! WeE~!

Missing Someone Makes Your Heart Fonder

2007-07-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

To help my twin about Jerky having to serve his NS, there are lots of things that will unexpectedly happen.. It will be a total life change when someone is serving his NS.. For my case for example as a recruit and trainee of a fire-fighter.. Life wasn't easy at all and our time spent in camp is from Sunday night to Friday evening and guess wad, its not including weekend guard duties.. Life became controlled and its tough.. We have to follow basic routines and listen to orders.. Failing to do so can result in failing to comply with order, and that can land u up into the detention barracks~! -_-..

As my recruit life goes on, i felt like crying as i always miss my family and someone that i used to like duing those days.. The worse thing is time was passing so slow when we were training under the sun.. Especially when its Monday or Tuesday.. Its only the start of the week and i already felt like booking out.. I missed my family so much that it changed my life alot.. I called my parents whenever i had the chance before lights out.. And they will always encourage me saying that Friday evening will come very quickly.. Though it didn't really help, but the fact is that time is always ticking and it will never stop.. Because of the encouragement i have from my family, i started to think positively even when its on a Monday.. Started to tell myself that the days will fly by fast as my training goes by.. During my time in the academy, there were bad times but there were also good times.. Its also one of the reasons that made me positive and got me used to the life in NS.. My mum also told me that she misses me alot and she's always very happy to see me when i come home on Friday evening.. She told me that she cried when i got enlisted into NS..(Just like you Chun~!) When i heard that, it comforts me as someone is waiting for me at home.. So Chun, all i can say is that the time will never stop ticking and i'm sure Jerky is happy to know that his special gal in his heart is waiting for him whenever he books out.. Wad more is that Jerky's recruit life is only 9 weeks altogether while mine is 16 weeks until i officially passed out..

So dun cry anymore ok? Instead, be more positive in your thinking coz Jerky is also missing u when he is in camp, training under the hot sun~! Waiting and missing for someone is good, as it makes ur heart grow fonder and stronger in the time to come.. CiaoZ~!

Bad Day On 18/7/2007

2007-07-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today's my first day off and i just took a very long nap.. Could say i just woke up since i only slept like 4 hours last nite at the fire post.. Slept since noon and to be honest, i'm still a little tired.. That's how a fireman works.. We work in shifts and so those out there who are working shifts like me, good luck~! :P..

Talking about luck.. Two days ago on my second day off.. I went to IKEA with Ver for lunch since she said she wanted to have lunch with someone.. Our schedule was about the same so i took my car and drove us to IKEA from her school.. While at the junction of IKEA, i was trying to find its entrance to the carpark.. Since it was my first time driving there, didn't really know its roots of the place.. So i sort of like turning my car round and round til Ver actually spotted the entrance to the carpark of IKEA.. The problem was i drove passed the entrance while she spotted it at the same time.. So it was me who missed the turn and so according to the road over that area, u have to make a big round in order to get back to that path..(FYI, IKEA is hell big~!) We were running out of time and so i made an illegal U-turn.. And yeah, normally illegal U-turns are places where U-turning is impossible for a perfect turn.. I made that turn and never expected that my bumper in front made contact along the curb while i was making my "perfect turn".. When me and Ver heard the sound, "SCRAPP~ED!", both of us had a really bad feeling about it.. I knew it was the bumper, but Ver thought my wheel was the one in contact with the curb.. Well, that's ok.. I was also hoping that it was just my wheel.. -_-~! When in to the carpark and parked my car.. Quickly got out and ran towards the front and..............yeah.... I was like "OmG~!.. I'm gonna be minced meat when my dad knows about this.." Ver was looking from the side but she still thought it was the wheel and thinks that it still ok.. I said no and pointed to her from afar and tell her its there.. And well, she still thinks its the wheel in the first place.. I told her not to look at the wheel and look at the front of the bumper instead.. And then she was like "*breathes in hard* Oh...." -_-~!

Went to the food centre of IKEA to have our lunch.. Queue up for our turn to take our orders and at the same time, still thinking about the damage of the car.. While we were queueing up, suddenly this lady came out of nowhere and asked me whether she could start the queue right in front of me.. I told her that the queue starts fom the other side but she gave me an "I was here first" face and said.. "No, i started my queue from here as i went to get other snacks from the other side".. I gave her a "WTF" look and she sarcastically walked off saying "Nvm, its ok that u dun wanna let me start from here"... I turned back and looked at Ver.. Sadly, Ver gave me a cute look but with a "What happen" face right at me.. T_T~! Told Ver wad happen and just forget it.. But that really made my day OFF~! After lunch, she followed me up to the shopping area and i got some stuff for myself.. The car still bothered me alot though.. Went back to my car and the best part was, i didn't lock the car before we left for lunch.. Me and Ver was like.. hehE~! Luckily nothing was missing or basically, the car is still there.. Ver's laptop and my PSP was inside the car though...-_-~! We left the place and had to fetch Ver back to school.. While on the way, my PSP dropped from "height" and a "boom" sound was heard.. I felt like shit again.. And it was raining cats and dogs.. Guess its really a bad day for me..

Fetched her back to school.. Before she left she said to me "good luck".. Haiz~! Gave the car back to my mum.. Told my mum about it but she didn't lecture me and let my dad find out himself.. And yeah, today he found out but didn't really scold me.. *sigh*

Look at the red arrow~! -_-...

Effort, Time And Money Down The Drain

2007-07-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

Just want to type this entry to share things that i've yearn for but there was nothing for me.. But i would also like to hope that if anybody have read this entry, none of them would come asking me wad happen, why or spreading this entry to anyone that i know of.. It would be very embarassing for me and i won't have the face to answer back.. I admit that i was stupid for easily trusting a total stranger and became a victim or a fool.. I've learnt my lesson and shouldn't trust people that i have never seen before.. I'll be changing my story to a similar one as i do not want people to noe the item behind it..

It all began when someone introduce me to something that i needed for working purpose.. It was made to a price that the more u pay, the more stuff u get.. For example, 100 for a single item, 200 for triple of it and 500 for as much as u can take.. It went from 2 days ago that i wanted the triple items which is for 200.. The dealer said after i transfer the money he would meet me at Compass Point which was at Sengkang 12.30am.. That was about 12am when the deal was made.. I took a cab and went all the way from home to Compass Point to transfer at about 12.10am.. Waited there til about 12.35am and he msged me back saying that he couldn't make it as it was too late.. He said that he will meet me 2 days later to pass me the stuff, which was on a Sat.. Sadly, went back by taking a cab empty handed.. Wasted 20 bucks on just the cab itself.. He said sorry for the trouble though.. The next day on Friday, i sms him asking wad would be the time to meet on the next day.. He said he will meet me tonite and he also insisted to add another 200 bucks to get the "as much as u can take" privilage.. So it was like instead of paying 500, i was just paying 400 altogether for that privilage.. It was really tempting to get it.. But i was quite reluctant to spend the money as i just got my pay and i was working on that day so i can't do any transaction.. But somehow he managed to sort of "psycho" me into paying more.. I told him that i was only able to squeeze out another 100 bucks at most.. And told him that just give me 1 more of the item if i were able to squeeze out 100, which is a total of 300 bucks and i will be receiving quadruple of the items.. He still insisted on asking me to take out another 200 instead so it would be 400 bucks for like "take as much as u want" option.. I just told him i would see about it and told him that i would transfer wad i can offer the next day coz i was working.. He said alrite and he will meet me the next morning..

The next day on Sat, i finished work and went home.. He msged me at about 9am asking me how i wanted the deal be.. I said i will transfer the money when i am meeting him at 10am.. He said ok and the meeting place was the same at Compass Point.. I had to rush down in a cab again as i was in a rush.. I transfered 100 bucks from there again.. Told him that i transfered the money already and he msged back telling me y only 100 bucks.. I said that was wad i could squeeze out from myself.. And he msged me back saying that we agreed on the extra 200 bucks for the "unlimited" offer.. I was like fuck, i didn't agree with that.. Had no choice coz when i argued a little, he msged me back saying just "sorry".. I was like alrite, i squeezed out another 100 which was a total of 400 already.. So i asked him to come and meet me at Compass Point now as i have been waiting for more than 15 mins.. Here came my first nightmare, where he msged me saying that he is meeting someone else at another place to do a deal and he requested to meet me the next day instead which is a Sunday.. I was like.. WTF~! I msged him back saying that he was the one who early morning msged me saying how i wanted the deal be and now u say that u are meeting someone else and delaying my transaction.. He replied back saying that the other buyer made the deal faster then i was.. And that buyer wanted the stuff too.. I got a little pissed off, but i knew there was no turning back.. So i told him that how about he meet up with me after when he was done with the other buyer's transaction... He said he won't have the time..I was so disappointed.. He told me he will msg me later in the night for confirmation and i went home in a cab again empty handed and frustrated..

Here comes my second nightmare, i waited til around evening and he msged me saying that he will meet me the next day but i have to transfer another 100 bucks as he couldn't afford an "unlimited" offer for 400 bucks.. I replied him saying that he was the one who said that 400 bucks was enough and now he is pulling back his words.. He said he was sorry and i there no turning back since the money is transfered.. I told him i will have to meet him tonite if i were to transfer another 100 over.. which is a total of 500 bucks i have transfered.. He thought that i was working tonite that's why he postponed it to the next day.. I said no and i'm quite free for the night.. He said alrite and i went down to my market place to transfer the money.. Told him to meet at Compass Point again and here comes the worse nightmare, his replied was "I'll meet u tml at 9am".. I was like.. pissed off again as he was delaying the time which got me irritated.. I said no, we better meet now as i dun have the time for other days.. That's when the msges all went silent.. Only half an hour later, he replied back saying the same thing, that he will meet me tml.. I said forget it and i wanted my cash back.. And up til now, my phone like went dead all the way.. Sadly, the whole story is that i was cheated 500 bucks for nothing at all..

I felt cheated and heartbroken coz i didn't get wad i wanted.. Tears came out abit but wad's done is done.. There was no turning back.. I just msged back saying that it was my blood money and he will experience the same thing one day.. So i hope to those who read this entry and as a sign of respect, will not talk about it to me or anyone.. And most importantly dun fall victim to internet scams, no matter how tempted u are for anything..

What Doesn't Kill You, Only Makes You Stronger

2007-07-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Been quite awhile since i last blogged.. hehE~! Busy with my friends and the environment around me.. I just had a 5 days off and today is my last off day.. Got to go back to shooting water tml.. *sIgH*! Spent alot of time with my friends coz one of them, Jerky, just enlisted today for his National Service.. He is being enlisted into The Republic Of Singapore Navy to serve his 2 years.. His girlfriend, Chun, was very depressed for days i guess.. She couldn't bear to let him go, but she has to as its for the country.. She should be proud of him actually..

Given the circumstances, he is not just doing it for himself but for the country, his family and most of all for his girl, Chun.. Veronica's boyfriend also enlisted into NS two days ago.. This time he was enlisted in The Singapore Civil Defence Force(SCDF) to serve his 2 years.. (HeHE~! The same force as me, i'll get him the next time i see him.. :P) This time, it was not Ver who cried, instead, she told me is he was the one who cried before going in.. Didn't ask the reason why he actually cried, but everything was like opposite.. >_<~! Told both of the ladies that they will do fine in NS and they will get used to it and everything will go well.. And also told them the phrase "What Doesn't Kill You, Only Make You Stronger"..

Come to think about it, most of my friends in our group has been enlisted into NS or already been serving halfway.. Its good to know that coz its like, we are like protecting the country together.. Alex and Cedric is in The Singapore Armed Forces, Ver's boyfriend and myself are in The Singapore Civil Defence Force and Jeremy is in the The Republic Of Singapore Navy.. I've got a friend who is going into the The Singapore Police Force in October.. Still quite a long way for him.. LoL~! Good to hear that we are all in different forces to protect our country.. HahA~! CiaoZ~!

Being Blessed Or Cursed?

2007-06-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

I have something unique that is on my left ear.. Something which can be defined as a blessing, but it also can be some sort of a cursed.. I have a mole on my ear.. My mum told me that with this mole, my hearing abilities are flawless and that's y listening to things is made easy for me..

I've also got another meaning of it by one of my superiors in the station.. He told me that with this mole, no gossips about me can escape from me without knowing.. And so he told me that people might not dare to gossip about me if they knew about the mole on my ear.. Well, the fact is that many doesn't know about my mole on the ear.. I mean its not obvious and most people would not look at someone's ear when they are talking to each other.. Plus its small and hardly noticeable.. Maybe its because of this i suffered much pain in my heart.. Hearing things that shouldn't be heard like negative comments or vulgar languages.. Even for stupid and silly reasons i am just being insulted badly.. People who are reading this now might be thinking that i must be some ass%^&* or bastard as i have so much bad comments about me..

Well, the gossips about me is not bad, but more on to comments.. People would say that i'm not good in this and that, or to make it worse they tell me right in front of my face.. And so i realise that now, its my hearing abilities that made got me hurt and pain.. My ex's, friends and families would always be saying about me.. I guess that's y i became so sensitive when it comes to hearing those things.. Been hearing it like this since i was young.. even the smallest things can be a pain to me.. I go quite sensitive when i hear the word "whatever" from girls.. Feels like they dun care about wad u said and feel, or they just take it as u are talking nonsense.. I hated that attitude.. This is one example though.. But then, its also because of this i was able to be someone that i would not hurt with words as i know how it feels.. And without this mole, i wouldn't know wad would i have become.. I could really be an ass$%^& as i won't care how others feel..

So can anyone tell me? Is it a blessing for me to be able to catch things so easily with my hearing ability, or is it a cursed to be able to hear negative comments and vulgar languages right in front of my face?

Jerky's Birthday

2007-06-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

A week has passed ever since we celebrated Jerky's(Jeremy) birthday.. We celebrated at The Glass House Fish & Co... It was a really a big surprised for Jerky himself.. Actually i envy him and i got kind of jealous coz his girlfriend planned out quite well to give him a surprise.. Days before the celebration, his girlfriend Chun aka My Twin(Coz we were born on the same day) called me and asked for some advice on making Jerky's present..

She was planning to make a framed up pictures of the both of them, placing some decorations and give it to him as a present.. I gave her some tips on wad border frame she should use and some items that is used for decorations.. She even gave me a sketch of the frame on how it looks like.. I was the first to know so i was quite amazed with the sketch.. I almost had the same idea of her making the frame.. So i agreed to her way of the work and she started processing it.. Next was the birthday cake that she also plan to surprised him without letting him know that there is a cake for him.. She asked me out to get the cake with her as she didn't like to go alone(I always go alone when i'm doing something for someone though).. Fortunately i had my car and she only lives across the field of my house.. So she walked over and i drove us to Pasir Ris White Sands to order an ice-cream cake from Swensens.. After ordering she passed me the receipt saying that i have to collect it on the day itself.. As she had to stall time with Jerky for me on his birthday, i went out earlier to collect the cake and headed on to Fish & Co to pass the cake to them.. Jason was with me so we were the first to reach the place and get the seats.. When the birthday boy and everybody else came, we ordered our meals first and the cake would be served later.. There were also musicians at the place so i asked them to sing a Happy Birthday song to Jerky while the cake was served.. It was really a big surprised for him as he was very shocked to have a cake out of nowhere..

So everything went by like this and though i was on duty the next day, all the guys went to Katong to play LAN til 2am.. My eyes was like @.@ when i reported for duty that day.. I said that i was envy and jealous, i have my reasons for it.. When his girlfriend did all this for him, i helped her out and also at the same time, i realised she was doing something i did before.. I did something like this for my ex-girlfriend.. We booked a chalet for ourselves during my ex's birthday, wad she doesn't know was i had some things up my sleeves for a surprise.. I bought her a birthday present that she never expected coz she thought that the birthday present was the chalet itself.. I also bought a Swensens ice-cream cake for her and placed it in the freezer before she entered the room.. I also invited our closest friends to celebrate her birthday(It was supposed to be a surprised too but it was leaked out to her by them.. Forgot to tell them not to tell her that they were going to the chalet).. When our friends came, i gave the present that i bought for her and she was happy, but the last resort was the cake that she was really surprised and she got even happier.. That was one of my best surprise for someone.. But a few months later, i broke up with her as our relationship started to turn sour and "rocky".. Because of this, i kept telling Jerky to treasure and appreciate Chun as she has put in alot of effort just for him.. Another factor is that no girl has done this kind of big surprised for me, that's y i envied him and even got a little jealous.. I was a little reluctant to actually helped out Chun in doing all these in the first place as it will sort of flashback on wad i did for my ex and i did it all alone..

But helping someone to make someone else happy, i think i can handle with that.. (Twin, if u happen to read this, sorry that i didn't tell u all these) Haha.. I also asked Jerky to get something for Chun which is a wallet sized photo of himself as he is going in to the Navy in less then a month.. And it was good to see the both of them happy.. Guess i'm satisfied enough to see the both of them blossom so much..

Jerky's birthday present from Chun

Myself at Jerky's birthday

With the birthday boy~!

Jerky and Chun~!

The Famous 5
From top left: Myself, Jerky and Jason
From bottom left: Alex and Cedric
(Jason spoiler arh~!)

The Flower 4
From left to right: Gwen, Chun, Karen and Veronica

The couple with the guys~!

Tying the knot... with ice-cream? O_o~!

Cheers~! With the ice-cream cone..

Louis and Veronica~!

Oh God~! Tell my wife i love her...

1 Day Work, 2 Days Off

2007-06-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my 24 hours duty and i'm having another 2 days off.. HehE~! As fire-fighters, we have a working schedule of working 24 hours and u will get 48 hours off.. People always think that working like this was kind of good coz u get to rest more then u actually work.. I did think like this once but i was mistaken.. It isn't easy as wad many people are thinking..

My frens who are close to me kept saying that my job is a slacking job and i got lucky that i was posted to this unit.. Its true that i got lucky by getting this post, wad more i didn't appreciate it when i was put into training for this post.. The fact is when i went through that 3 months of fire-fighting, it was hell tough.. I could say physically its not really for everyone.. Wearing the fire gear is already hot, so imagine when u are actually fighting fire when there is real intense heat around.. That's something that many people couldn't make it through.. Plus we had to have knowledge of rescue equipments and how to operate it.. It was never easy for this kind of thing.. That's y after the training is over, we are given the privilege of this kind of working schedule.. This is not it as there is still something that's also relates to working my 24 hours duty shift.. During my 24 hours standby duty, we still have to do drills and routines in the station.. One of the most important things that we do is that we are actually fighting a real war.. We go into situations where we have to do rescue and fire-fighting together.. Its never easy as we have get the casualty out from the risk area.. I have a fren who was formally a fire-fighter, almost got into an accident where a pillar dropped right in front of him while he was fighting the fire.. This is the danger but this is also our job.. So that's y i knew that we were given these benefits of working a day and having 2 days off..

Unlike my fren from the SAF infantry unit, although he has to stay in camp from monday to friday, he doesn't really have any life-threatening work, not much knowledge in equipments and they dun go through a real war.. They just go through tons of physical training to keep them fit and operationally ready for any war.. But then again, there hasn't been any war that is going on.. And yet he could even say that my job is kind of slack.. They never know the real truth behind it anyway.. So which is a better unit? The fire-fighters who saves lives and protecting properties of Singapore or the soldiers that defend our home called Singapore?

Fear Is Not A Factor~!

Aishiteruze Baby

2007-05-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

Recently i have became sort of an anime freak.. Kept downloading animes to watch.. I downloaded romance, school and action animes.. Some horror ones too.. I've been more into romance and school animes and things just started coming into my mind.. And realising that loneliness has come into my life for a long time..Plus i miss school life alot when u get to meet different people around..

I just finished watching the anime series called "Aishiteruze Baby" and its a combination of romance and school.. Its about this high school guy started looking after a 5 years old girl while also managing his school life.. His school life wasn't really a school life to him, its more on going there to "flirt" with the girls as he passes his time.. (Its more on the girls going to him coz he's made handsome in the anime) But as time goes by, he became serious and went steady with a girl whom actually the both of them were silently in love with each other.. As time goes by, the guy did not realise that he is neglecting his girl as the kid always wants the guy to be only by her side most of the time..(He was also forced by his family to take care of her) But his girl was understanding and to cut the long story short, the 3 of them finally got along together and it became a happy ending.. Though this anime was released 3 years ago, its a touching anime as the past of the his girlfriend and the kid isn't a happy one and because of this high school guy, their life was brighten up alot..

After i watched finished the anime, i realised that my expectation became alot higher.. Its about the way they made his girlfriend's character that is very much to my liking, u could say its almost perfect for me.. Sort of "fell in love" with this girl character.. I know when people read this, they will think i'm nuts and daydreaming.. But this is one of the place where i can express my feelings and i actually wanted to tell my friends about missing school life, my loneliness and i needed a girlfriend, just somehow i can't say and get one.. If u want to know what characterism she has, i'll list it out below..

Girl's physical look and character:
- Big eyes with double eyelids
- Long straight hair
- Great figure
- Sexy and soft-spoken voice
(Can't describe the voice so only i know)
- A little cool character
- Innocent, cute/pretty looking
- Shy but actually wanting it
- Don't smile often
(I wonder why i like this kind)
- Reserved
- Serious
- Hardworking
- Independent
- Has a good angry attitude
- Very loyal to her guy
- Honest at all times
- Fashion smart
- Caring and observant
- Understanding

Aishiteruze baby~!
(The kid Yuzuyu, High school guy Kippei and his girlfriend Kokoro)

What i meant about the good angry attitude is that she still thinks of me even in a long term angry mood and knows how to express a face saying that she is angry, walks away normally after that and making me chase her to say sorry.. Plus while i'm saying sorry, she would list out my mistakes without even raising her voice..(That's when the soft-spoken tone comes in) She will still show her cute angry face at me while i explain my reasons, kiss her lips while sort of asking for forgiveness and telling me "Don't think you're forgiven just yet" with a cool, innocent and soft attitude.. HeHE~!

Well, this is the list of what i expect from a girl..(No wonder my heart has never spark for a while now coz there hasn't been a girl whom i know that has all these characters) I guess people reading this must be thinking "Oh my, forget about finding a girlfriend!".. Plus i'm not good looking or have anything special about me.. I wonder y my expectation has became this high.. But well, just hoping for that someone to appear in my life..

The Fire Post And My Friends

2007-05-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Came back from duty about 2 hours ago and have not been blogging since the start of May.. HeHE~! (Someone's complaining at my tag on the right.. :p) Ever since i was posted out to the fire station about a month and a half ago, i have always been staying and doing my duties in the station.. But yesterday was somehow different as i was being posted to Pasir Ris Fire Post for the first time.. Its a small branch where only the LF(Red-Rhino) and an ambulance is station there for any calls nearby.. Tampines has a fire post too, just that i wasn't assigned to that one..

The fire post acts as a "back up" for the fire station for example if the location of the fire is too far from the station, the fire post will turnout to that location for a quicker response to the call.. So its sort of a "back up" for fire and ambulance calls... The routines in the post is almost the same as wad we do in the station.. Of course during drill time in the morning, it will be in the station itself but after that we will head out to the fire post with the LF... Hehe~! Only things that are different is that during PT time which is about 4-6pm, its not PT for us.. Its either watching TV or sleeping on the sofa and standing by at the same time for any calls.. Thats the good part i guess, the bad part is that someone must always be at the front desk even during the hours where everybody is sleeping.. And no way that the person looking after the front desk can fall asleep as he has to answer calls and watch out for any stangers who is suspiciously hanging around the LF.. Its about 2 hours shift per person though, but still we dun feel enough sleep when we headed back to the station in the morning at 5.30am..

Alright enough about my work, talk about my life now.. Friends come into the picture and things are going kind of topsy turvy.. Jerk(Jeremy) who is going into NS soon wasn't worried about anything, except one.. Chun!(Jerk's girlfriend) As he is going to the Navy to serve his NS for 2 years, most of the time he will be overseas and there will be times that he will be away for at least 2 to 3 months.. He told me that Chun has been in low moral and depression ever since she knew about this.. She has been telling to Jerk why was he not posted to SCDF to become a fire-fighter like me so that Jerk will be working 1 day and get 2 days off, plus i would be able to guide and look after him if he became a fire-fighter and is being posted to my station.. Or why not the SPF as there are Jerk's friends in the force whom he is close with and will still be in Singapore.. Plus he's most likely going home everyday if he is in SPF.. Gave him some advice on how he can deal with the situation.. Hope it works though.. Ver just broke up with her boyfriend.. Unexpected turn of events, but she told me that she couldn't take it anymore.. Her boyfriend even gave her a slap before he left her.. They lasted from when i enlisted into NS til just recently.. There were stories from her saying that her boyfriend is possesive and some other stuff that i dunnoe how to put it in words.. OoPS~!

Cedric has been in camp even during his weekends so rarely we get to see him.. Alex has been into alot of his work in NS and so his weekends were burned sometimes.. So many things change and i just hope that everything will be fine for the next few weeks to come..

A Traumatic Mistake

2007-05-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

First of all came back this morning from my 24 hrs duty this morning.. Though i thought things would go as usual when i'm working in the station, but things doesn't seem to be going well yesterday.. Yesterday morning when i went to work, had a scenario drill and though everything was successful, i realised that i disappointed my superior while doing the drill... But in the end, he told me that i did well.. (I wonder if that's really true)

As things go by and the usual stuff that we always used to do until around in the evening, the fire alarm sounded and i went for the fire call.. Its a unit fire and the fire was put out by neighbours while on the way there as the fire is only at a portion of one's house corner.. Arrived at the scene and my section Duty Officer, who is my Deputy Rota Commander(DRC) did a thorough investigation of how the fire started.. Took awhile though as he had to take photos and stuff.. Neighbours were all around there and gossiping.. (Although the neighbour's daugther was kind of hot.. HehE~! oOPS~!) My Officer Commanding also came down to the fire scene to take a look at the situation.. While everything was going on, i made one of the biggest mistake as an NS men.. I was talking to the neighbour who put out the fire and just discuss about how lucky this house was and if she didn't put out the fire, the whole unit will be burned down and stuff.. From then i was sort of "stopped" from my DRC from talking to the neighbours and prepared to go back to base... While everyone boarded the pumper, my DRC turned back and gave me a very big scolding with the "F%#K" word in it.. My SecCom and other Rota mates got into quite a shocked state when suddenly my DRC turned behind and yelled at me... He kept explaining the facts about why we shouldn't talk to the neighbours as only the highest ranking personnel is the only one that is doing the talking.. When we were about to leave, my DRC forgot to take one of the particulars from one of the neighbours and went down with my SecCom to go up and ask for it.. While they went off, 2 of my superiors came and sat beside me and discussed about wad happen and told me that we weren't supposed to talk to the neighbours around.. I told them i didn't know about this and they told me it wasn't my fault since i didn't know and its ok.. They even told me not to take it to heart about the scolding from my DRC as they sort of knew it was a big blow to me.. Well, u could say it was one since he yelled at me and its the biggest scolding i ever got since i enlisted into NS...

Kind of a traumatic case for me cause ever since that scolding, i didn't have the appetite to eat my dinner.. Though i only ordered something light, i would always have a bigger meal.. Well, i took this as a lesson and somehow up til now, i still see the image of my DRC scolding me upside down in my head.. And that made me sort of like a "chill going up my spine".. Guess i have to take a few days to get over it.. Just need a little time around..

Kage Kara Mamoru On Labour Day

2007-05-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

hEhE~! Its Labour Day today and everyone who were working hard finally had a holiday..(Well, not everyone i guess) Tml is the start of my next duty and i practically could say that i spent my 2 off days staying at home playing games and watching anime.. lOL~! But its bad for health since i'm always facing the 4 corners of my room all day long..

Anyways during my last duty, I had a fall while playing soccer and sprained my left ankle.. Fortunately, there wasn't any fire call or there will be lots of problem coming up for me.. Now my ankle is about 70-80% healed thanks to my dad who has been rubbing medicated oil on my wound a few times.. Guess i'm considered quite fit for duty tml, but still trying not to push myself too hard.. Talking about watching anime, i recently downloaded an anime called "Kage Kara Mamoru" and it just finished downloading the whole series of it.. It has 12 episodes altogether and the madness about me was... I watched the whole series straight from episodes 1-12.. @_@~! (My eyes are like the guy with the specs in the pic below) The title of the show means "Protecter from the Shadows" and "Mamoru" is a name.. Hehe~! Its a show that consist of this ninja protecting a girl secretly and hiding his identity from her since they were childhood friends.. Its a 400 years old mission for that ninja family to protect that girl's family so yeah.. Basically that's wad the story is about.. But of coz it has its touching scenes and stuff..

Overall i would give the show's rating 8.5/10.. HeHE~! I admit that its an interesting and hilarious show.. Oh yeah and SO coincidentally that the girl's birthday is on the 1st of May.. Practically its today when i started watching the show.. LOl~! That's y my title for this entry goes along with the date, which is also Labour Day.. HAHA~! Ciaoz~!

Kage Kara Mamoru~!

(The guy in the middle is the ninja who protects the girl in pick hair)

Midnight Call

2007-04-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

Just came back home from my shift work in the station.. Tired as usual for as i'm on 24hrs standby duty.. Not easy being a fire-fighter u noe.. *puffs*~! The day started off by doing our daily routine of checking equipment and stuff.. After that my Rota mates who were working in the station had to take their HRCT(Hazmat Responders Certification test) in CDA to maintain their extra allowances for the next 6 months..

Me and another guy who just passed out from CDA didn't have to go as we already took our tests back when we were trainees.. So we were ordered to stay in the station's watchroom while other station sent some of their personnels to cover our station in case of fire call... So we learned a few things and it took my Rota mates to come back at about 3pm plus.. I could see their faces that when they came back, they were all shagged as they all had taken their tests.. I was doing some maintenance in the station and when i went up to the locker room at about 4pm, found most of my Rota mates sleeping on the floor.. -_-~! LoL~! Well, i noe how they feel as i've been through it before.. And so at about 6pm everybody ordered dinner and was getting ready for night lecture at about 8pm later.. Night lecture was not really a lecture, instead we were watching some videos that SCDF made.. More on talking than action so wasn't that interesting.. After that it was about 9pm plus and we could call it a day already.. Headed to the bunk and when to sleep as its kind of a tiring day..

At about 1.45am, the fire alarm sounded.. WooT~! As usual everyone woke up and i was assigned to the DO pumper on that day, the pumper that goes out first when responding to fire calls.. So without hesitation, put on my boots and long 4 uniform, quickly slide down the sliding pole and ran to my pumper.. Could say i was the first one to reach the pumper as i was nearest to the sliding pole.. When everyone came up the pumper, had a little trouble as everyone started to put on the fire suit, we didn't really have the space to manuever around.. So it was kind of tight in there when i was putting on my suit.. When we reached the fire scene, the fire was already put out by the neighbours around as the fire is outside their houses.. Fortunately no one is injured and no houses are being burnt.. Just that their clothes that were hanging outside their houses were burnt by someone who played prank around there..

Did abit of investigation and headed back to station and went back to sleep.. Well, that's about it.. There's more actually but its not really important, just had a confinement til 12pm as some mistakes happen during our duty.. Anyway it was a nice midnight call experience.. Feels like i can't relax whenever i'm on duty..

Welcome To Tampines Fire Station

2007-04-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Just finish my 24hr shift this morning.. Wad can i say about station life? Hmm.. Its interesting but at the same time can be very tiring and shagged.. Well, its a 1 day work and 2 days off shift.. Can't expect to be complaining~! hEhE~! Its my first day on the job, but come to a surprise that actually the day itself was very happening..

First of all i started my work yesterday morning with a "lonely" face as i practically do not know any of my new Rota mates.. There were more Section Commanders(SecCom) then fire-fighters.. So basically most of them are my superiors and they can be as old as coming to 40 years old.. The age gap was there and its kind of hard to mix around.. Maybe just needed some time over the months.. So i did my work in the morning and in the late afternoon we had our own PT training, so some of us when to play soccer... Wad happen was half way through out the game, we heard a loud bang that was coming from the direction of one of the sliding poles.. Headed there and noticed a division personnel lying on the floor by the sliding pole, bleeding badly from the nose and he was having difficulty breathing.. Everyone expected it to be an internal injury.. Basically he was carrying a bag and some other electronic stuff which we are not supposed to when using the sliding pole.. The worse part is that the personnel who fell from the sliding pole isn't a fire-fighter, which means he isn't train to use the sliding pole.. Everyone was thinking y the hell he used the sliding pole when he's not supposed to.. Ambulance came and took him to the hospital while we all gathered back again to continue our PT..

It was early evening at about 7pm when everyone was going to order food so someone could go and buy it.. 8pm was night lecture til about 9pm.. We had dinner and that was sort of the end of the day and we could rest till the next morning's routine.. So about 9 plus, i went to take a shower before heading to bed and have a good nite's rest as the next morning we were going to have a tough drill.. I was lying on the bed about 9.50pm and i was busy playing with my phone before closing my eyes.. Here's the good part.. At about 10.10pm, the fire alarm sounded and we all quickly rush down to our appliances and get ready to move off.. I was appointed to the Duty Officer's pumper..(DO pumper is the fire engine that moves out first when there is any fire call, road traffic accidents or other cases) So i quickly put on my long 4 uniform, my boots and jump down the sliding pole..(It felt cool though~!) Quickly run to my pumper and get myself dressed up in my fire-fighter suit.. Left the station within a minute and rush to the fire scene.. The fire scene was located at Tampines St 91 BLK 915.. That was practically just beside Ver's house and Junyuan Primary School.. My SecCom assigned me to do as hydrant man while on the way there.. When we were about to reach the fire scene, we could smell the burning smell from quite a distance... Reached the fire scene and noticed there were many bystanders around there crowding the whole area.. The fire is on the second level, inside a unit of a HDB flat.. When the pumper stopped, everyone quickly jumped off and get the things they need to get and moved on.. I took the hydrant key bag and proceeded to the hydrant to get water supply.. The hydrant key bag was a new version to me since the one i learned back in CDA was the old type.. So it took awhile to get the things out from the bag.. Its cool u know when u are doing things, there are people around watching u doing the stuff.. Of course the pressure is there, but i can't afford to screw up as the water supply is important.. Was about to get ready to on the water, so i ran back to the pumper and get a hose to connect it from the hydrant to pumper.. Turned on the water and from there, my job was done and waiting for my crew to fight the fire.. (Wanted to do the fire-fighting, but it was my first day so i have not gotten my face mask yet.. That's one of the reason y i can't do the fire-fighting.. -_-~!) The fire was put out in about 10 mins or so and fortunately, no casualties were found and no one sustained injuries.. The police and my commanders went in to investigate how the fire started and where is the seed of the fire.. I went in later on as i needed to get torchlights for my superiors... I went in and noticed the whole unit was actually burned very badly as the were black marks all over the place.. The TV, chairs and other plastic appliances were melted by the fire.. The investigation took very long and the other appliances have already went back to the station.. Only the DO pumper had to stay behind to do more investigations and surveying..

Everything finished at about 1am so we reached back to station at about 1.20am.. Shagged and sleepy, i quickly took a shower and rush for the bed.. I slept at about 2am and had to wake up at 4.30am as there were briefing about the morning drill at 5am.. Definitely i had not enough sleep plus the drill started at about 6am to 8.30am.. The drill was held at Tampines COURTS where housing appliances were sold.. Its just a scenario drill where other stations come to support us with other appliances.. The fire is in a warehouse and we had to put the fire out and rescue 10 casualties.. 6 were dummies and 4 were live ones.. I went in to put out the fire and rescue a dummy out.. That was basically wad i did as there were other sections going in to do the same thing.. It was damn tiring as the operation was very long..

When everything was over, headed back to the station and did some maintenance to the equipments before we could leave for home.. Well, that's about it for my first day in station.. My first day on the job was so happening.. Great huh?! A sliding pole accident, a real fire call and a drill that consisted other stations to do with us as well.. My superiors and even my commanders told me "Hey, your first day very happening eh?".. loL~! Well, i told them that, this is maybe my "Welcome To Tampines Fire Station" for me.. :)

Not The Destination, But The Journey That Counts

2007-04-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, things have come to a close and i'm an operationally ready fire-fighter.. Training was over and just finished Passing Out Parade yesterday night.. Parents came down to see me pass out as a fire-fighter.. But something actually bothered me quite badly since yesterday during my POP..

After the parade, everyone was with their family and friends and so some of us wanted to demonstrate sliding down the sliding pole.. So i went up and made my first slide down from the third level.. It was successful but it was kind of stiff though.. So i was unsatisfied and did a second slide down and this time from the fourth level.. So i started to hang on to it and slide down and suddenly my arm slipped off from the pole while on the way down.. Basically only my legs were gripping the pole tightly.. Shocked and panicked, i quickly did a switch to bear hug method and slide down the pole safely.. Sort of a stunt move there, but i made quite a reaction so it was kind of embarrassing since there were like parents and friends looking at me sliding down.. My parents got a shocked and scolded me a little for not gripping properly... From there i realised something, that i wasn't confident enough.. I wasn't even confident to jump onto the sliding pole as i was carefully hanging myself onto the pole and slide down.. Maybe i didn't want anything to happen and i don't want to ruin the whole ceremony if there was an accident, but to come to think of it, if i was thinking of an accident that could happen, that means i'm not ready yet.. I'm not ready to actually properly jump onto the sliding pole and safely land onto the ground level swiftly.. That's wad have been bothering me up til now.. And my instructor was actually right, three months of fire fighting training isn't enough.. I didn't make enough jumps on the sliding pole to make it a perfect one.. I felt uneasy when my mum lectured me about not carefully handling myself while sliding down.. It really pierced my mind and it made me think that the fire badge is not ready to be on me yet.. I just didn't feel good the whole night.. It really made me think that i wasn't ready to become a fire-fighter.. Had a Rota mate telling me something after the parade.. He told me that he noticed that the whole day i didn't have a POP "mood" in me.. He was right actually, i didn't have the mood.. Maybe because i'm gonna miss the training and the place.. Maybe there wasn't enough training to be conducted before passing out as a fire-fighter.. I dunnoe, i just dun feel that i'm good enough to get the fire badge..

I'll be posted to Tampines Fire Station as an operationally ready fire-fighter.. To be honest, i'm very nervous as its going to be another new environment, meeting senior fire-fighters and instructors.. Its a whole new level that i need to go through.. I wonder wad would my life be when i'm being posted there.. I'm seriously going to miss the academy and my Rota mates who went thru hell with me.. Its also thanks to them that i was able to pass out as a fire-fighter.. Its kind of sad, but we all have to move on to serve and protect our nation.. I could say that its not the destination, but the journey of becoming a fire-fighter counts in the story.. There are sliding poles in the fire station so if possible, i could try practising more to jumping on and sliding down swiftly and safely to improve myself.. Have to start pushing myself and gaining self-confidence so that i won't make that same mistake again..

My mum putting on the fire badge for me.. :D~!

Me and my dad!

With the Fire Bike~!

With the Red Rhino(LFAV)~!

My personal fire helmet~!

POP OUH~!

2007-04-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

WhoA~! Its already 7pm and i'm going have to go back camp soon.. Overslept the whole day and my bro's been using the com so now i only got the chance to type an entry.. LoL~! 11 weeks have been completed and i only left with just the coming week, but going thru the 11th week was one of the most tiring week..

Most of the days were scenario exercise that we have to play in fire fighting.. We did High Rise Fire scenario, Ship fire-fighting, Vehicle fire and going thru choking gas that got me into a very "cool" state.. :P~! High Rise was fun as my team went into the fire floor and fought against the fire while my other mates rescue and evacuate the casualties around.. Though its damn tiring, but it was sort of a good experience.. There was a part when i was fighting the fire near the window when suddenly a rollover fire came above from the side of the ceiling.. Expected that and quickly fought with it.. HehE~! Can't really type wad i have to say now as i'm going to prepare soon.. But wad i can say now is... POP OUH~! Ciaoz!

Posing for the camera~!

Thinking moment... Actually i'm just waiting for book out.. :P~!

Scenarios Coming Next

2007-03-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

WeE~! 10 weeks have passed and i only left with 1 week to POP! HehE~! The 10th week was kind of hell.. We had 4 types of test in a week so got a little stress when the week started.. We had Final Theory Test, Hazmat Responders Certification Test(HRCT), Breathing Apparatus Proficiency Test(BAPT) and Standard Obstacle Course Test(SOC).. Final theory and hazmat test was more on oral and writing test, only just a little physical activities for the hazmat.. BAPT and SOC is the one that really kills..

The best part is that both test was held on the same day and its purely physical tests.. Almost died during BAPT as i was having a little bit of difficulty breathing with my BA set.. I lift my face mask up abit and got a scolding.. OopS~! Well, to my surprised after the test, my frens also told me that they were doing the same thing..-_-! Although the test is tough and tiring, its kind of fun in some way.. Its test consisted of walking 7km/h, climbing at least 46m of an endless ladder, cycling and maintaining 90km/h and pulling up weights about 25kg using a pulley 36 times all within 3 mins in each static station.. The last exercise was going through the BA maze which is also kind of scary as my BA set was going to be out of air for me to breathe.. That's y i said i almost died.. *phew*! The SOC test was right after we had lunch and went back to the bunk for a rest.. Most of my Rota mates didn't really have the strength to run anymore as the BAPT test really shagged us out.. But i guess most of us managed to pass i hope.. Hazmat(Hazardous Material) test wasn't much of a physical thing for us, but this test also determines whether we will get extra allowances for the next 6 months.. HeHE~!

Yesterday went out with Alex, Tim, Jeremy and Veronica to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.. lol~! Its been a long time since she has come out for a group outing with us.. Good to see her with us again.. I guess that's how we all went thru with the week.. The upcoming week is scenario week as in we sort of doing it like real life cases..Using real fire and saving casualties.. Guess its going to be tough since there isn't anymore test coming up, got to go all out this week.. Scenario week, here we go~!

After Flashover.. Hot and tired!

HOT HOT HOT!!!!!

Defenders of Singapore!.....from fire.. :P

(If u can't find me, look at the group on top of the pumper)

Flashover

2007-03-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

HehE~! The week passed quick again and things are doing well and great.. Just completed the 9th week of FFC and will be going back tonite to proceed on with week 10.. One of the greatest news is that i passed my IPPT with a Silver~! :D! So damn happy with my results although i almost got a Gold for it...

The week of training was fun.. And maybe becoz it was fun that's y the week passed kind of quick.. My first day of training was the instructors taught us how to rappel from the 3rd floor window and down to the ground.. That was for height rescue training and it was cool.. Quite tiring though~! HehE~! The other training program was called Flashover.. Flashover is a sort of a place with no ventilation and fire is being burn inside til the whole place heats and smoke has occupied about 3/4 of the room.. The fire started to rollover on the ceilings like tongues and so we had to prevent it from spreading further but well, the fun part was the fire was rolling over our heads and it was freaking hot inside that we have to pat our arms and thighs non stop.. The training took about a whole day and everybody was shagged due to heat and tireness..

Amazingly this week we took alot of pictures too.. We even had videos~! LoL~! Guess i gtg already.. I have my final theory test coming up tml and maybe thinking of studying.. hehE~! Ciaoz~!

I'm a fat and chubby fire-fighter! -_-~!

To arms fire-fighters!

Adjusting the fire helmet..

Permission to carry on, Sir?

Heartpain And Bad Luck

2007-03-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

8 weeks passed and and still about 3 more weeks to POP! WeE~! The week passed kind of quick.. I dunnoe why but somehow it just passed by quick.. Maybe i was worried about my IPPT that was on Friday.. But i'm happy and satisfied coz i got a Silver for my IPPT.. Used to keep failing all the time.. Quite surprised that i can make it already.. Sadly the real test is only next week.. So i still need to train and maintain the standard..

Tonite i'm going back to camp and yeah, weekends passed quick as usual.. Heartpain has been affecting me for 2 book out days.. Why? Coz my new phone dropped 2 times in less then 2 weeks! OuCh~! The best part was the 2 times it dropped was when i'm about to book out of camp.. 1 time last week and another this week.. Wad luck i have man.. Shouldn't have put it in my chest pocket as it always dropped from there due to bending down... SaD~! Didn't really do much this weekend.. Wanted to go to HIGH but Cedric was on guard duty on Sat and Alex when back to camp on Sat night as he had duty on Sun morning.. *Sigh*! Wad luck i have again... I'm suppose to have guard duty today, but i didn't want to do it coz its kind of troublesome going back early in the morning.. So i sold it to my buddy so that he could do it for me(The price was 50 bucks! OuCh~!)..

Now i got a call from another guard duty personnel that he didn't turn up for guard duty.. Again wad luck i have~! Now i'm trying to call him but there is no answer from him.. Wth~! Everything is making me stress up.. Anyway i've got to go.. Need to get some stuff done... Ciaoz!

The aftermath of lunch! Sleepy and tired~!

Had nothing to do, so decided to take a pic with them!

Getting Ready For The Finale

2007-03-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

Weekends really pass quick as i'm going back to camp tonite.. HehE~! But well, the week in camp was kind of tiring as training was tough and scary.. Yes! And i mean scary.. The week's main training event consisted 2 types of scenario exercise and 1 long length training..

The 2 types is dealing with chemical leakage and confined space rescue.. For the chemical leakage part, my job was kind of a slack off as i'm just being posted as an SRB(Special Rescue Battalion).. I wasn't part of the decontamination and mitigating team.. These 2 teams have to do lots of work and my job was just to carry casualties out of the danger zone.. lOL~! Confined space was fun but at the same time its tiring and scary.. Wad we needed to do was for a 4 man crew to enter into a confined tunnel and search for casualties and bring them out to the starting point.. And we have to wear our full fire gear with out BA sets on.. So u can imagine crawling inside this tunnel with stones and about 90% darkness.. That's y i said it was scary.. I always had this feeling that i was stuck somehow.. hEhe~! But everything when fine and normal.. We even have to go thru a puddle of water.. We had to go underneath and swim across it.. Its just a 1m distance, but when u get out, u are practically soaking wet! hAHA~! The exercise took about 20mins i guess and we rescued a casualty out all the way back to the starting point.. And yes, have to go thru that puddle of water again.. Sadly, during the scenario exercise, one of our teammates "died" coz his equipment was sort of damaged.. And my commander told him "U are dead since ur equipment is spoilt!".. He was asked to come out from a certain door and got some punishment for not checking its equipment status before entering the scene.. Going back to the starting point was also hard as its very hard for a person to actually turn around and move head on.. hehe~! But i guess i managed to get thru safely during that time..

After coming out of that place, it was tiring and shocking, but in the end it was really fun.. Now for the long length training, its exercise is actually called "Closed Circuit Relay Pumping".. Yup! The word relay is there and we can start to imagine.. Basically this exercise consist of 100x64mmx20m hoses! O_o! 100 hoses to begin with.. LOL~! But of coz my whole Rota is doing it which is like 25 men doing the job.. We have to lay the hoses at about 2km to the scene of fire.. The training ground was behind my camp at the cemetery where the place is spacious and long.. So altogether there were a few teams assigned to do different tasks.. The whole exercise took the whole morning and walking distance was really far! O_o! Not only that, we have to carry hoses and pumping equipments and walk a certain distance.. That itself made us shagged and tired.. After placing all the hoses to its designated routes and aiming the nozzel at the fire sight, the exercise was completed and my commander said that everything was pretty well done.. WeE~! But everybody was like *puff* and "I need water" face expression.. LOl~~! Not only that, we still have to make up all the hoses and bring it back to camp.. The lucky thing was that a truck was there for us so we dun have to carry the hoses after rolling it up.. The truck will just come and pick the hoses and at the same time pick us up as well.. It was a tiring and painful day.. (Painful was because everybody felt some biting sensations on our backs) But it was a day to look forward to as its book out day... But too bad we only got to book out of camp at about 7.45pm! For some transporting reasons that's y we booked out late.. That's the latest timing i ever booked out of camp.. LoL~!

Yup and that's about it for the week.. The upcoming weeks are tests weeks.. Its pressurising me though as i'm afraid that i would fail in certain test and can't pass out as a fire-fighter.. I have about 4 more weeks to go to POP.. And we are all getting ready for the finale which is this month.. This month is really going to be hectic.. But whatever it is, i still have to face it and give all that i've got.. Wish me luck~!

Half Way Through

2007-02-25T15:27:00.000-08:00

Back again and tonite i'm going back to camp, so better type an entry here before i won't be able to use the com for another 5 days.. lOl~! The week passed ahead quick because there was 2 days holiday and i only went back to camp for 3 days.. But the 3 days was kind of hell.. HeHE~! Everything went smoothly and steady though but i do know that i went thru one of the toughest training in the course(Yes, i said "one of the toughest".. There is still more to come)..

The training is called "BA Confidence".. BA stands for Breathing Apparatus.. Yup! As that means we have to carry a tank on our back which is like 15kg and wearing a face mask breathing its air from it.. Plus we are wearing our fire fighter full gear.. Its hot and heavy! lOl~! In that way we had to go thru 4 stations.. The first 3 we didn't have to put the face mask on coz it wasn't required for it.. So i went to the first station which consist of a stretcher with four 64mmx20m hoses, which each weighs about 10kg i think.. I had to carry the stretcher with a partner and walk 700m.. I was ok with that but my partner keeps putting down the stretcher while walking along the way.. After 700m, my arms was like aching.. The second station was to actually climb up a building til the 9th floor and do exercise there.. Can u imagine cimbing up til the 9th floor and doing exercise with the BA set on? HeHE~! Well, my instructor let us off on that, we only went up til the 6th floor and sit there resting.. Cool huh? :P.. The third station is called the "Swiss Roll".. We have to roll up a hose 20m long using the swiss roll method 2 times.. 1 times was tiring enough and got me panting.. So 2 times was kind of hectic.. And now the last station which we had to but our face mask on.. Guess wad? We have to go into a sauna room which is about 80 degree celsius! Whoa! We are already so hot in full fire gear and we had to go in with that.. One of my frens almost had difficulty breathing in there.. We had to stay in there for like about 10 to 15 mins and we were ordered to move stuff here and there.. Some couldn't concentrate as the heat was intensed, but after everything's over, it was kind of a good experience.. Even up til now, my arms are still abit aching.. lol~!

So yeah the day went by and finally got to book out and go home.. The next day my dad reminded me that my handphone contract is about to expire and i have to renew it.. And that was a good chance to get a new phone.. HeHe~! So yeah i got myself a new phone.. hEE~! After that went to Alex's house to eat pizza and fondues! Going to grow fat by eating those.. And yup, didn't really do much these weekend, more on resting up i guess.. 6 weeks have passed since i entered the fire-fighter course.. I only have about 5 more weeks to go to POP! Half of the course is done.. Now the real thing is coming right up and i won't be left behind for sure~!

This is the SCDF pic! Cool huh? That's the fire fighter gear, the one in orange helmet!

Some joker took my phone and snap a pic of me sleeping, and i only found out that it was in my phone 2 weeks later! -_-...

Happy New Year

2007-02-18T22:55:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year.. Hehe~! Thanks to this holiday i dun have to go back to camp tonite and in fact, i'm only going back on Tuesday night because of its extra 2 days of holiday.. Just that i didn't have enough sleep as i slept at 6am last nite after coming back from HIGH with a group of frens.. Had steamboat for the past 2 days with my family and its kind of scary coz i dun wanna get myself to gain weight.. Well, i guess it didn'thappen.. hEHE~!

I finished 5 weeks of fire fighting training and heard that after the holidays, things aren't going to get easy now.. Better be prepared for the worse as i do not know wads gonna happen.. Time has passed really quick i guess, and its been about 2 months since i enlisted into NS.. Next week my ex-platoon mates are going to pass out and go on for their vocational training.. They should be very happy by then.. heHE~! Finally the new Naruto series is out.. Naruto Shippuuden! The characters in the show have all grown up after 220 episodes of Naruto.. They are starting back from episode 1 again as a new beginning is about to unfold.. Looking forward to see more episode in the future..

Tommorrow frens would be coming over my house for the Lunar New Year.. I wonder how many would come as the numbers are not confirmed yet.. Well, just got to see it when it comes tml.. Ciaoz! HAPPY NEW YEAR~!

Characters of Nauto

when they are grown ups!

Can't find the pic when

they were just kids.. :(

A Stressed Week

2007-02-11T10:16:00.000-08:00

*sigh*.. The weekends pass so fast as usual.. Tonite i'm going back to camp already.. Feels like the weekend is not long enough, but well at least there is something to look forward next week.. Its Chinese New Year so i'm gonna have an extra 2 days off.. :3~!

The whole week was kind of stressed up in camp.. When i went back to camp on Sunday, the next day we already had some stupid problems caused by other Rota(Platoon).. Someone was caught smoking and my Sir almost got the whole FFC(Fire-Fighter Course) to be confined on the weekends.. Its the first day of the week and its kind of unlucky to hear this kind of thing.. Such a demoralizing start for the week.. The next day went to Mandai Training Village for training.. That placed is like almost demolished but the place is now only used for training purpose.. Heard from my instructor that the place used to be the SAF(Singapore Armed Forces), then it was passed down to SPF(Singapore Police Force) and then to us SCDF(Singapore Civil Defence Force).. Nice history :P~! We were there for the whole day though.. From morning til evening and i was shagged when i went back to camp..

But it was fun, the whole training was actually called "WET".. And its really wet! We were training on stuff that includes water spraying.. And yeah, so we ended up spraying at each other.. -_-~! Well, accuracy and pressure was sort of part of the training.. So i sprayed at one guy and he called for backup.. lOl~! Ended up three of them spraying water at me while i lost control of my hose.. hehE~! Wednesday and Thursday was as usual.. Learning new stuff and training in camp.. Friday was kind of sad for me though.. IPPT was on that day and i failed again because of my chin-ups.. Kind of pathetic but my other stations i could easily get a Gold or Silver, but because of chin-up, i failed everything.. I just can't do a proper one for some reason or the PTI(Physical Training Instructor) just won't give me face as i see the other who gave chances to others :(... Sad, although it was book out day, it wasn't satisfying for me.. Didn't book out with a pleasant heart.. Been training hard and still training.. Hope everything will pay off at the end of the day..

Yesterday went out with my group of frens to town area to buy clothes for the upcoming Chinese New Year.. Cedric was sick and because of that, the whole outing was kind of grumpy because without thinking, he just insults everyone in a straight forward manner.. Well, can't blame him as he was really having a high fever.. Alex had to go back to camp in the night so we didn't stay long in the public.. Haiz~! If he didn't have to go back camp, we could have all spent more time together..

But anyways, its good that i got to see them.. Can relieve stress alot or sometimes give me other stress~! -_-~! 4 weeks have passed since i'm in FFC.. Things is going to get tougher and still training.. Just hope that everything i do pays off at the end of the day..

A Smooth Week

2007-02-03T15:13:00.000-08:00

First thing that i can say here.. I'm still freaking tired and sleepy.. Basically i dun have enough sleep when i'm in camp and everybody else too.. Woke up this morning at about 10.30am and slept last nite at about the same time, still i'm as sleepy as ever.. HeHE~! The past week's training was kind of fun and interesting.. I finally got to spray water yesterday after 3 weeks in the course O_o! It was fun!

But never expected that it was not easy just by controlling its aiming.. Pressure was strong and actually its a 2 man job just by holding the part where the water comes out.. 1 man has to control the nozzle from going out of control and the other standing behind giving body support and carrying the hose for better control.. O_o! It was tough but eventually it was fun.. I had 2 frens doing the spraying while they suddenly got out of control and turned 360 degrees and sprayed at all of us, including the instructors that was standing behind watching them.. Lol~! Sadly yesterday i sprained my left arm near my shoulder.. Until now it still hurts and its aching sensation got me into a very "jelly" feeling.. On Monday was kind of shocking, suddenly a weekly test just came out for us and i was like... "Oh i'm so dead"... I didn't even know that there was a test and didn't study for it.. Until now i do not know the results but hoping somehow i can get through it... hEHE~! Tuesday and Thursday was sort of a "relax" day where most of the time we were in the classroom.. We were learning all about CPR and had tests for it.. I guess everyone made it through though.. Coz we only knew about our practical results but not the theory.. Wednesday was the best! Haha!~... We all started to wear the full gear set of the fire fighter suit including the face mask for us to breath with its air cylinder(oxygen tank) on our backs... And after that we went into sort of a maze which is of total darkness.. Its a 4 man team and communications is the key when u are inside.. For my group we only had 3 man because we were short of people.. loL~! There were lots of obstacles that's why communication was important..

In the end i treated it like some sort of a playground as its about 1 and a half storeys high i think.. But i really had fun after that.. Heard there will be a second round some other time with the place filled with smoke.. O_o~! hehe~! Its kind of a fun week and everything went smoothly.. But still tired as ever! :)

Fire fighter helmets! Each could cost up to $500 to $700.. Wasted, one of the helmet's crest is missing! T_T

A Million Tears

2007-01-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

Two weeks have passed since i entered the Civil Defence Academy to be trained as a fire fighter.. Didn't blog last week as i had some sort of trouble with myself.. That trouble was just myself i guess.. My first week in CDA wasn't good.. Training was tough as I had to wear the fire fighter suit and its freaking hot especially when the sun is directly shining onto you..

Honestly, these past 2 weeks in CDA, i sometimes cried during the training because it was unbearable with the heat that i was experiencing.. Definitely the first week was the hellish one.. Never thought it was so bad.. For an add on, my bunk now is more cramp, toilet is more inconvenient in someway.. There is also night training every night which BRTC doesn't have.. I'm also afraid that if i fail my test, i won't be able to pass out as a fire fighter and become something else instead and my 3 months of hell won't be worth it.. I was so desperate to drop the course to go back to BRTC.. Desperate til i even thought of dislocating my elbow just to drop the course.. Cedric was kind of shocked when i asked him for the help of doing the job for me last weekend.. He said he don't have the heart to do it.. Lol~!

But just a few days ago on Thursday, i was actually being motivated by alot of people.. My Rota(Platoon) mates and my parents were there to actually cheer me up all these while and i was so selfish not to support them back.. My parents did tell me that even if i fail the course, they won't be disappointed.. Thursday night somehow my "happy" mood came back to me and i was kind of energetic during the night training.. Maybe booking out day was just the next day? I dunnoe..

But again, even if i fail or not, i have to just take it as something to learn about.. But of course, i'm not gonna get myself to fail.. Guess a million tears was kind of worth it..

The Becoming Of A Fighter

2007-01-14T21:34:00.000-08:00

Just came back from an outing with my group of friends.. Well, can't really call it an outing, its more of a gathering thing.. We just eat, talk and played a board game together.. Yesterday night went to HIGH with Alex and Cedric.. HehE~! I met "her" with her boyfriend as Cedric owed her some cash and needed to pay her back.. Shook hands with her guy and said hi before the both of us left to Alex's house.. Nothing much though, but she seems happy which is good to know that she's ok..

My week in camp was kind of hectic though.. Not because of the exercise, but its because of the management in the camp.. Lots of things suddenly change and its quite disappointing though.. My platoon was split into half and was placed with other platoons, so it was kind of hard to actually start to trust people that we do not know.. We split on Tuesday because the new enlistees came in and they took over our platoon, that's y we had to split.. Quite sad though, coz i did miss the other half as we were like brothers in camp.. Also the results came out for who is going to CDA and who is staying in BRTC.. Quite surprised as i was chosen to go to CDA and do my Basic Fire Fighter Course.. Out of about 100 people in the company, 37 was chosen to go over to do the course.. Guess i'm the lucky one eh? =X.. Can't say that i'm happy, but i can't say that i'm sad too that i'm going over.. It has its pros and cons.. Somethings wrong with me though.. It feels good when u come to think about going over to do the course, but sometimes i feel sad.. Hehe~! I dunnoe y.. Maybe coz some of my frens are left behind in BRTC and most of them going over to CDA with me.. But like wad my father said, in NS life, there will be lots of changes.. So i just have to go with the flow and do wad i need to do.. Heard the training is 100 times more tough then in BRTC @_@! Some people even said its like "Welcome to Hell" thing.. Well, its quite true though.. Everything is going to be crazy from tommorrow onwards.. But there are a few advantages when u are in there i guess, at least its something that i can look forward to.. I've also seen some fire fighter trainees doing their training and its looks fun.. HehE~!

The basic thing when i go in is to endure and perservere everything that comes in the way.. One thing i'm afraid is that i will fail the course and not pass out as a fire fighter and my efforts would be a waste.. Rumours saying that when you are in there, hardly you will ever fail and be a qualified fire fighter because of the training.. Guess i must begin to really push myself all the way.. I've got to try to be a stronger and a happier person so as to see myself one day to be useful in my NS life.. This will be the becoming of a fighter..

PTP Done, On To Vocational Training

2007-01-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

My weekend passed so fast and tonite i've got to go back to camp.. Sad! Not really very happening during this weekend.. Didn't do much, instead i was more into polishing my boots and ironing my uniform.. Polished my boots, but somehow one of my boots just won't shine as good as the other.. Ironed my own uniform for the first time ever at home =3!

Friday night was kind of bad.. Was really shagged and sleepy since i woke up like 4+am in the morning.. I booked out that day, went home for dinner with parents and after that, went out with Alex and Jerk to HIGH and play til about 2.30am.. I even drove there and back with the car.. Driving there was ok since i wasn't sleepy that time.. Its only the driving back home part is the scary one.. I was like forcing my eyes to open.. I even slept while i was playing with my frens in HIGH.. My character just went straight to the enemy while my head was down snoozing.. When i lift up my head coz i heard someone died, that's my character =x! Lol.. My team lost becoz of me i guess.. Too tired already.. I was dozing off while playing the game.. But at least we all made it home safely and i bought roti prata for my parents for breakfast.. Sat was also a day when i slept til 12+pm.. Too tired i guess.. Stayed at home til evening and went for dinner with Cedric, Jason and Alex.. Went to Alex house to play WOW TCG and Maple! That was the only time when everyone is relaxed.. Sadly Alex had to book in to camp on that night so we didn't stay long.. Went home after that by foot.. Cedric and Jason didn't take the public transport so i walked with them..

The days passed so fast.. Maybe its becoz i slept too much.. Hehe~! But anyways, i finished my PTP(Physical Training Phase) stage and now moving on to vocational training.. Its either i stay in BRTC(Basic Rescue Training Centre) to do 7 weeks of BRT or go to CDA(Civil Defence Academy) to do 12 weeks of BFFC(Basic Fire Fighter Course).. Whichever it is, my choice is to stay in BRTC and just do 7 weeks so i could pass out early.. Although fire fighters pay is higher, the training over there is like 100 times more tougher than wad i'm doing now.. But anyways, both choices has its pros and cons and there are too many to list all of them out.. Hehe~! Well, i do not know which i'll be in..

But this coming week i'll be able to find out.. The new batch of "fit-squad" recruits will be coming in to join those who are staying in BRTC.. I'm sure everything will be hectic whis coming week.. But there will be lots of questions and answers coming, and i'm going to find them out...

A Nice Weekend

2007-01-02T10:49:00.001-08:00

New year has passed and its now the year 2007.. A year where again many things will be changing.. Sinced i booked out last friday, i never hesitated to waste any time to go and enjoy my weekend since there is an extra 2 days of holiday.. Its been fun and today is my last day of the week and i've got to book in camp tomorrow morning..

I was shagged when i came home on friday.. Had a footdrill lesson right before i booked out of camp and was perspiring all over.. Got into my parents car that was fetching me home and the first thing my mum told me was that i stinked! =X.. Sadly i didn't smell anything coz maybe i'm used to the smell in camp.. Everyone smells like that i guess.. WHAHAHA! Reached home and dumped every single dirty clothes to the washing machine and took a nice shower.. Felt refreshed but didn't really feel well as i had finger and thigh injuries.. Deep cuts for my fingers and a big blue black for my thigh.. Its due to the exercise that i got into an accident and fell on the floor.. Didn't report sick coz my platoon is now being blacklisted for at least half of my platoon mates reporting sick during the past 2 weeks.. So i didn't want to get myself blacklisted and targeted by the higher heads.. Anyway its just a small wound although it was deep.. Unfortunately, i didn't have any medicated cream for cuts and i didn't bring enough spare plasters.. I eventually got some plasters from my platoon mates and just covered up the wound up.. During that time, it reminded me of someone about having medicated cream for cuts.. It reminded me of "her" when i went out on the 5th Dec 2006.. She told me she has slight cuts from working and got an infection, so i bought medicated cream for her and sort of cleaned up her wound that day.. It really reminded me when i was being told to sit down at one corner coz of my injury.. Almost cried though coz memories just suddenly came back.. Some other platoon mates were there too, so i held back..

Anyways, back to my weekend story.. Friday night was actually planned to go to HIGH overnight, but Alex attended his class chalet in the night.. So me and Cedric was actually waiting for him to give us a call and then we moved on.. We waited til 10pm and there was no call.. I told Cedric that i couldn't take it anymore as i was very tired because of the training that day and went to sleep.. Cedric also got a little frustrated and was wondering wad was Alex doing.. While asleep halfway, at 12.05am, Alex called my handphone and asked me "Hey, lets go HIGH now".. I was like -_-! My eyes was still closed and i couldn't get up coz really too tired.. I told him that i can't go and he was like "HUH! You spoiler you!".. I said sorry that the plan was canceled but he still sounded quite pissed.. But well, i told him maybe we shld just go tomorrow night which is on a Sat night.. He said ok and we ended our call and of coz, went back to Zzzzzzzzz! The next day, i found out that he called Cedric right after he called me and Cedric said to him "Wah so late already, Taxi fare expensive plus Ben is not going, dun feel like going le!".. I was laughing away in my heart though, but everything wasn't well planned so nobody was blaming each other at least.. It was Sat and.................... Shit! I can't rememeber wad i did on that Sat morning and afternoon.. Maybe i was at home all day long til evening.. Yeah it was around late evening that there was a plan of 5 people including myself going to HIGH and play.. And i had the car to drive out so the extra 2 companions were Jeremy and Jason.. It was their first time going with us to HIGH... And y suddenly they tagged along? Coz i had the car and could drive them back home after we have finished our games -_-! But anyways, Cedric, Jason, Jeremy and myself went to Cedric's house first in the late afternoon.. (Finally i could rememeber wad i was doing in the afternoon)

We all met up for and went to our market area to eat KFC.. Hehe~! And that's when the plan started.. Wanted to watch movie, but there weren't any time slots left and to make long story short, we planned to go to HIGH...... with my family car! So Cedric, Jason and Jerk was waiting downstairs of my housing area while i go up to get the car keys.. Luckily my parents are back from work, so the car was free to use.. So we hopped on and headed to Pasir Ris to get Alex with us.. Reached Pasir Ris and i saw Downtown East, the placed where i used to work for about 2 and half years just before i was enlisted to NS.. Sort of miss that place and brings back some memories when i saw it.. Continued down to the chalet entrance where Alex would be there.. Alex took quite long to come out as usual, so i went to a carpark and placed my car there awhile.. Did some touch up on my car since the 5th person is going to take up the space.. Alex called saying that he was at the entrance already so we moved on and picked him up.. Said bye to his frens and left for HIGH in Katong area.. While on the way there, i went into the wrong lane of the expressway and so i had to turn out and get back on the right track.. Everyone was talking happily in the car while on the move.. Seems to me that i was able to drive them there so they were in the happy mood.. Reached there and we took the VIP room.. Looks like everything went well.. Played DOTA and Battlefield 2.. We lost in DOTA though, coz according to Cedric, Jason and Jeremy screwed everything up.. Battlefield 2 to me was quite fun, but the rest of the guys was so into it.. Til they laughed like no one's business.. Well, i guess they are having their fun though.. It was about 1am that we left the place.. We played for about 3+ hours and we have to head home as some of them has things to do in the morning.. I fetched everyone backed home and Cedric was the last to dropped.. Cedric said he wanted to get Roti Prata for supper so i went to buy my share.. It was in our market area so after buying, he went on home by himself from there and i drove back..

Sunday was a day that spent my whole day with my parents.. My parents bought a new 32" LCD screen TV and i got a free 1GB MP3 player plus a $100 NIKE voucher.. HEHE~! Sort of my new year's present.. Practically the whole day i was with them, from morning til night.. The next day Monday which was yesterday is the first day of the year 2007.. I planned an outing that we would watched Death Note 2 in the mid afternoon, and so altogether about 6 people turned up including myself.. And i actually only invited 3 people, but it was ok coz the more the merrier.. Wanted to invite "her" too, but somehow i was afraid to even talk to her.. I dunnoe y but accoring to Alex, she has already watched the show.. The show lasted about 2 and a half hours.. After that 3 frens left for Suntec city to play Guitar freaks which i think is quite unreasonable.. Wad more Jerk was one of them and he doesn't have enough money.. The 3 that stayed were Jason, Alex and myself.. We went to have dinner and had actually planned to go HIGH again with the car.. Jerk and Jason couldn't make it coz they said they didn't have enough cash.. So we called Cedric and he was eating buffet with his army frens and could only leave at about 9pm.. It was only 6pm when we called Cedric, so the 3 of us decided to go to my house area to take the car and go to Alex's house.. While in his house, we tried to go online but failed.. He ended up calling his ISP and was shocked to hear that all the internet connections are down due to the recent Taiwan earthquake.. So we were all plained bored and the both of them started to play Warcraft 3 offline while i took a short nap.. It was about 8.45pm when Cedric called my handphone asking us to pick him up at about 9.15pm.. So at about 9pm, we left Alex's house and i fetched Jason home first since he wasn't going with us.. Went on the pick Cedric up and left for HIGH again.. We played the same games, but it was BF2 first then DOTA.. HeHE~! Cedric was kind of pissed in the last DOTA match coz we were fighting with pros.. And it was about 2.30am when we left the place and Alex still has army duty the next morning.. HAHA~! So i got everyone back home and i went to sleep and here i am now waking today and typing this blog.. No plans for today as everyone's busy..

Tomorrow going back camp already and my IPPT test is like 2 days from now.. Sadly i've got no confidence to pass.. But wad comes it comes.. I'll just have to do wad i need to do... And it was a nice weekend..

Stepping Back

2006-12-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

退后

Stepping Back

天空灰得像哭过

The sky is so gray that it looks like it just cried

离开你以后

After leaving you

並沒有更自由

I did not regain more freedom

酸酸的空氣

From the air

嗅出我们的距离

I smelt our distance

一幕锥心的结局

A heart breaking ending

像呼吸般无法停息

is continuous just like breathing

抽屉泛黄的日记

The yellowing diary lied in the drawer

榨乾了回憶

Had pressed dried our memories

那笑容是夏季

That smile is summer

你我的过去

Our past

被順時針的忘记

Has been forgotten as time goes by

缺氧过后的爱情

Love after anoxia

粗心的眼泪是多余

Careless tears are unnecessary

我知道你我都没有错

I know that the fault is not in either one of us

只是忘了怎么退后

We just forgot how to step back

信誓旦旦给了承诺

We made promises to each other with confidence

却被时间扑了空

Yet it has been emptied by time

我知道我们都没有错

I know that the fault is not in either one of us

只是放手会比较好过

It's just that letting go would make things easier

最美的爱情回忆里待續

The most beautiful love is to be continued in my memory

Its Christmas now that i'm typing this entry here.. Suppose to be a happy day for everyone but it ain't happy for me.. I've gotten my one and only Christmas gift, unfortunately that gift is the word "Pain".. Many things have happen when i'm in camp, really alot.. Never expected things to have turned out like this..

I thought everything went assured in my way, but i found out i was wrong when i booked out of camp and to find myself not being love anymore.. So i guessed that its true that i told a few friends that day on my friend's bday celebration that nobody wants a person like me.. Its painful and can't help the tears flowing, but its better to let it flow now coz i won't be able to let it out for the upcoming week.. "She" is a nice and wonderful gal.. To me she's never a liar or a bitch like what she called herself.. Just that i really forgot how to step back and think of wad i needed to say to her.. Friends said i made a wrong and fatal move, and maybe they are right.. Now she's gone and pissed with me.. I heard that she patched up with her ex.. It surprised me though, coz she did told me before that she didn't love him and never intended to patch with him.. But i don't and will not blame her, though its painful within me but the fact is that i'm quite happy for her.. Why? Its because he can spend time with her more then i could.. I'm serving my NS and he's still schooling.. I won't be able to spend quality time with her unlike him, as he can spend time with her after his sch hours.. I'm sure she will be happy and still in love with him.. I'll have to accept that fact somehow that i'm not in her heart anymore... Its going to be hard as i'll see my platoon mates will talk to their girlfriends happily whenever there is free time and i really do envy them.. There were times like these and i would stare at my phone, thinking of that very one gal.. But i know i can't do that anymore and its going to be painful inside.. But again i have to bear with it or either that, i'll just move myself out of my bunk and stare at the sky alone thinking of how is she doing and how much i miss her holding my hand, hugs from her and going near her face to smell her hair.. That is the furthest thing i could do now...

Everything went so fast and painful, but i promised myself to forgive her as she did asked me for forgiveness before.. That's y i'm happy for her that she is with someone she love.. So now i can just say that the most beautiful love is to be continued in my memory..

Lonely And Missing You

2006-12-23T01:32:00.001-08:00

Now its already pass midnight to the 23/12/2006.. But just now during the evening of 22/12/2006, i booked out of camp and was looking forward to enjoy the weekend i'm gonna have.. And so i moved on to celebrate my friend's birthday.. I knew about it since Wed so i was thinking whether "she" was going for the celebration..

I called "her" on Wed night and she wasn't sure whether she wasn't going.. I was like ok, but actually in my mind, i was hoping that she would be there so i would be able to see "her" and was thinking of the days that i didn't hear her voice.. It was about 3 days plus when i last met her that time.. And so of coz i miss her voice alot and was delighted when i heard her voice on the phone.. I was really happy because for the past nights at camp, i got really sad when i couldn't get to her.. Even my close platoon mates are talking to their girlfriends when we have our free time before lights out.. I envy them alot coz they were attached and their gals are always there for them and as for me, i'm very lonely and that "she" will always will be in my mind to call.. So i did try to call, but there was no luck sometimes in contacting her.. But i do know she's busy and tired that's y.. I'd rather to let "her" have a good rest instead of talking to me.. Tears are flowing again, i could only let it out at home when i'm all alone thinking about wad to type here... I've accumulated alot of pain in camp i guess..

Well, anyways back to wad i was saying just now, i booked out and my parents gave me a lift to Marina South where my friend is celebrating.. I sort of got there on time and it was quite a big group, and of coz "she" was there.. I was happy during that time when i saw her.. It was like "finally i got to see her" feeling came and was overjoyed.. Sadly, i wasn't sitting beside her so i didn't talk to her much.. Of coz i wanted to sit beside her so i could talk with her more but i wasn't able to.. She's busy with her own stuff on her side so i didn't wanna disturb her.. I went there with my NS uniform so i look kind of smart =P! Even i could rememeber the date, i went to my friend's belated bdae celebration which was just now on 22/12/2006.. I could rememeber exactly 1 month ago while eating there, on the 22/11/2006, it was my birthday and "she" was spending her time with me.. It really brought back my memories and on my bdae, i really enjoyed spending time with her.. After eating, we all walked back to the MRT station which was quite a long distance, planning to go back to Tampines to watch Death Note 2, but it was full house so we missed our chance.. Still again i didn't really talked with her .. After that we went to the void deck of some unknown block and sit and chat about our stories.. Hehe.. Some are interesting though.. After for awhile, we all headed back home and when i saw her left, pain started to come back to me.. I was telling myself, y didn't i take the initiative to actually go talk to her.. But its all too late and that she's asleep, i won't want to disturb her or maybe if have the time, i would pop by her workplace to see her again..

All because i'm lonely and missing her, and i really wan her to be my side.. Even my fren who was celebrating his birthday told me to chase her as she wanted me too.. But i'm the only person who knows wad she is thinking of right now, whether she wants me or not..

Tears In The Sun

2006-12-16T00:11:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* Just came back from camp a few hours ago.. Well, I'm an SCDF(Singapore Civil Defence Force) member now.. I'm serving my NS(National Service) that's y i'm there in the force.. Wad does this force mainly do is fire-fighting, paramedics and other things that consist of saving lives and protecting the properties of Singapore..

My story now is that i am a recruit inside.. The lowest rank of all and its like being tortured and trained by the higher ranking officers.. Yes as i stated tortured(some say its training), they took my freedom away and i am being disciplined to the extent that they had to fuck us upside down.. I even lost about $50 as it was stolen from my locker, too bad for me coz i didn't bring a lock for my locker.. At least my handphone was still there.. That day when i was enlisted, i was mentally prepared for wad was coming, but i didn't know that it went overboard my thinking and it was even tougher, not physically but mentally.. I got over into depression everyday ever since i went in to the place.. I started to miss my home and family, especially "her".. Whenever i think of them, my tears would want to come out and my heart is in pain.. Real pain! Cause i really miss them so much! Yesterday during lunch time while i was queing up to wash my tray and mug, my tears came out coz i was thinking of them so badly.. I was sobbing a little and i quickly wipe off my tears to not get any attention.. Even now my tears are rolling down my cheeks as when i'm typing this.. Coz the pain won't stop, the pain of missing them.. Although i got to see my mum now, i still feel we are far apart from each other.. So imagining if i were to meet her, won't that be very painful too? But i really do want to see her.. But i've got a bad feeling now that she is avoiding me.. I talked to her on MSN just now and asked her whether she could wait for me at least til after i POP(Passing Out Parade).. She said she has no idea and she was confused.. I was wondering y and that got me quite worried.. I went to see her blog and yes, there were alot of things troubling her.. She was talking about me going to NS though.. And she was talking about that day on the 10th Dec 2006, where i got a hugged from her and actually wanted to kiss her.. She said she wanted it, but she couldn't.. She couldn't give it to me coz i wasn't able to tell the world about the gal i love, i only could do everything secretly from the start.. Its just that i want to start off in a low profile relationship and later people will eventually get to know..

When she said that in her blog, i felt more depressed and sad, thinking of wad a failure i am that i couldn't show the world about loving her if we were together.. Damn, tears are out again.. Now she said that i'm gone coz i went into NS, its now really killing me and tears are flowing non-stop.. It makes me thinking now that she doesn't like or love me anymore.. I really feel that way and it makes me think about how am i going to go thru this NS life when i dun have her assuring me that she will be waiting for me.. I'm going to really feel lonely.. My body and mind can be trained to resist pain, but my heart can't.. Plus my freedom is being taken away, i will be thinking of her anytime even during training and could really hurt and lose my concentration.. I really dunnoe wad to do now.. Coz i feel that she is avoiding me and she even asked me to forgive her.. Wad does that mean? Its too painful to think.. Maybe i'll just drop by her workplace later in the afternoon to see her if i have the time.. Coz if i dun see her, i would really miss her more and there will be tears in the sun when training..

Kotoba de ienakute mo

(Even if I couldn't put it into words)

Wasurenai kono omoi "ai shite 'ru"

(I will never forget my feelings "I love you")

My Final Fantasy

2006-12-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

It may be a day of happiness, sadness, anxiety and nervousness. But it will definitely be a day that my life would change.. Today is my last day before going in to the National Service.. I do guess that my life would change when i'm inside, but i do know that my dreams and goals will never change.. Guess i'll be missing the times when i could do things that i always do when i'm alone or with friends!

Today is my last day, yet i felt so lonely since morning til mid afternoon.. I was alone in the house and needed someone to accompany me.. Wad's worse was that i've got nothing to do and all of my friends weren't free at all.. Even "she" has her own stuff that she has to do.. What luck i had today eh? Sounds like no one never really cared that today is my last day.. But who cares? I'm the one going in and not them.. But seriously i didn't have a company and went out alone to my old workplace.. When i got up the bus from my house, it started to rain heavily.. And its like all of a sudden from dry to wet, as in really wet! The downpour was cats and dogs.. Unfortunately while on the way, there was an accident i saw that has a person lying in the middle of the road with the rain going down on him.. Its an irony though.. I never expected to see something like this a day before entering NS.. I felt sad and uncomfortable.. While almost reaching to the interchange that the bus would drop the passengers off, another "lucky" thing came.. The bus that i was in broke down and the passengers inside had to wait for the next bus to come which was about 10 to 15 mins.. We got a free ride though, but the rain was horribly heavy during that time.. Good thing that the bus driver has an umbrella to transfer the passengers to another bus.. Still got wet though and almost caught a cold.. But i find it very unfortunate for today.. Why would my last day end with such cold endings? Even "she" dun have the time for me.. All i wanted was to see her face for the last time and smelling her hair.. But i guess its too late.. Felt like crying though, but even if i cry, its not like i will see her now.. I really miss her! I feel like seeing her now.. Even if i told her that, she won't let me for some reasons..

Now all i hoped is for her to take care of herself, as i may not be able to see her for quite long.. At least she will be in my heart and mind as a memory til then.. Its late now and i guess i'll need the rest for tomorrow's new day of my life.. This is my final fantasy!

Kokoro dake ga bishonure na no sa

(My heart alone is drenched in the storm)

Ima wa tada nemuritai omae no mune de

(Now I only wish to sleep on your bosom)

I Was Lost And Founded Myself

2006-12-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a day of horror, as in i was practically trying my luck to find the place that i wanted to reach when i thought "Is it reachable?".. But overall, it was fun! HEhE~! The day goes when i was told by my mum that i could use the car and that was about 2.30pm when i left the house for the ride i got for the day..

My plan was surprising her at her workplace in Kallang area and so i drove off and set my sights on that place.. Took the PIE Expressway where its linked to Kallang and i got to some road that's quite familiar.. Now here is the bad part, when i entered that road, i do not know the actual way to Kallang and it got me quite nervous though.. I just kept going til i see more multiple roads and signs, but they weren't telling me "To Kallang, this way -->".. So it was a crazy thing and complicated.. I'm a Noob driver so can't be blamed! :P I went on and passed Lor 1 Geylang which is actually Kallang area was just next to it -_-"! I went all the way down following the streets in Geylang, and before that i was like in Upper Boon Keng Road going to Bendeemer Road and so on, i even went to Bugis Junction which i dun even know how to get there in the first place.. It was really my luck though.. And i almost turned in to CTE Expressway that leads to the west side of Singapore (Kallang is in the east side).. Heart was pumping and but i still stayed calm (Well, for the mind is calm at least).. Went to Beach Road, went in to lanes that not suppose to turn into.. While i was on the flyover towards somewhere, I saw the MRT station from afar and i recognised it... It was Kallang MRT Station! I was like "For the love of God i finally found it".. Headed towards it and turned inside to the HDB flats that were there, and that's when i noticed that the road there was Lorong 1 Geylang -_-"! I was like "Hey, didn't i just passed here just now?" Turned in to the public carpark and saw a Hawker Centre there.. The block number was 17 and so i started to sms her about details of her workplace.. Asked about the block number and wad kind of place is it.. And she told me "Block 17 and a hawker centre".. I was like "Alright i got to the place!"

I put my parking coupons for 2 hours and realised something, it was already 5pm! Means i was driving for like 2 and a half hours just to look for the place! And talking about the petrol, i used about a quarter of it :P! Shagged when i reached there.. Happy to see her though coz i know i made it there, and i guess she was quite surprised to see me there.. Said hi to her mum and began talking to her.. Not much customers going to her stall though so that's y she could sit and talk to me most of the time (They are doing a food family business in case anyone who reads this wanna know).. But it was fun, told her things of the impossible but possible in the end.. HEhe~! And she was happy that i made it here after so long, or was she happy that i didn't get lost in the end? Lol! Can't remember.. But hey, i made it there in one piece.. Although i had to go through alot of trouble like being horned at by other cars and got into a slight traffic jam, it was fun and i took it as a learning experience! Talked more about her family business and it was quite hilarious as her father was sort of a boss for many shops O_o! It was 7pm plus and i had to make a move home.. Said bye to her mum and she walked me to my car and i parted from there.. Was on the way back and i almost got lost again.. i was like "How do i get out of this place?" Luckily, i saw ECP Expressway sign that leads to the area where i stay, before turning in i was at the traffic light junction where she msged me "Msg me when u get home safely.. Hope u dun get lost.." HehE~! I was like "Hey she's thinking of me! =3!" Turned in to the expressway and headed back to where i came from, its a long ride though.. But at least i know the way for that place.. Reached home at about 8.15pm and satisfied i guess..

Overall, to i think everything went smooth as i did managed to get to see her.. I was really happy for that time as it was worth.. Fun having to be lost and founded myself again huh? =)

Itsu kagayaku ka

(When would it shine)

Ai no ai no oorora

(The aurora of love)

Sweet Memories Will Always Stay Within My Heart

2006-12-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

I have one dream that i always think of, a dream that has been with me since childhood.. And that is protecting people, especially someone that's of importance to me.. I've always thought that it would be like this, that's why i always think that it is why i have existed in this world..

But i realised something, that is whether could i even protect my own heart? From wad? We can say almost everything that could could hurt it.. Words, feelings and maybe the one and most painful one is the mind and memories.. Memories that could hurt someone so bad that you could just breakdown and cry.. That's why i knew i couldn't, as in i couldn't even resist the painful memory of someone.. Someone that is different and unique! And i can say that she is really different.. But at least i know one thing i have achieved and maybe that's my ability.. I have never hurt anyone whom i know with words..(Maybe i did to some people who deserved it though) But its also because of this ability i have, i've got to know countless friends.. So many that i couldn't even remember some of their names.. But having too many of them has its disadvantages too.. Why? I'll tell u something that i have personally noticed, is that some of them can hurt u back.. And still i've never hurt them back.. I knew i was strong enough to take these pain from them or maybe even i got used to it..

But there is always one that i can never ever resist, is a person that is in my heart.. A person i love deeply is the person that can hurt me and never resist it because i love her.. Not by words, feelings or anything, but by the pain in her heart that she felt before.. That is why i want to protect her, love her and give her the best even if the pain is unbearable.. Throw away the word called "Pain" and stay strong.. That's wad i always believe and that's how i will stay happy and continue pursuing my dreams..

Right now i'm thinking of that someone whom i want to love and never stop loving her.. Coz maybe she could be loving me back.. I won't know and that's why i won't give up.. The sweet memories of me and her will always stay within my heart! That's for sure!

Yume nara aeru sa shiawase michite

(She can always see him in her dreams, and still be happy)

Ai no itami wa inochi no akashi

(Love's hurts are part of life)

Patience Is A Virtue

2006-12-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

OOoo... Great day if you wanna say it.. When out with the gal that i like! Its cool as i got to use the car almost the whole day and travelling was so much easier for us.. =P! When out with her today, or basically i just went to her house first as to sort of like, bringing her out from her doorstep and guiding her to my car.. HEhE~! She was quite surprised that i brought the car though, as it wasn't expected that i would be able to use the car.. Muahahha!

Drove her to East Coast Park to spend quality time with her.. And these are the times when i must really treasure.. We just sat there from like 4+ til abt 7:30pm talking so much about ourselves.. It was the same place where we sat during my birthday.. So its a remembrance and something special.. Plus she dresses beautifully today where i actually didn't expect her to.... basically dress beautiful today.. hehE~! Just casual wear will do for me but well, its quite rare to see her like that.. And yet again i confessed to even more deeper conclusions and answers while the sun was setting.. Told her that i thought of her every single day ever since the last time i met her.. And i did ask her that whether did she do the same, thinking of me everyday at least once.. To my surprised, she said yes and she even said that actually she wanted to cancel today's outing for some reasons, but she actually misses me that's why she didn't hesitate to go on a date with me! (Well, i'm the one who got her trapped one corner and she blabble out everything about the missing me part :P!)

When i heard that, i was delighted and happy as i really didn't expect her to be doing all these.. Even when she was in Genting, she still did think of me! (Is that why i'm having flus almost everyday?) It was a great feeling when i heard about it... Really great! And the last but not least question was, of coz, will she be my steady girlfriend? But unfortunately, her answer was "I dun know"! She told me that its not a "no" but is not a "yes" either.. But hey lets look at the bright side, she told me more that she's not ready yet and her mutual feelings are there.. And that we should go out on more dates, knowing each other better as she had some bad experience in the past.. When i heard that, i felt like loving her more coz when she said this, it made me respected her and love her even more.. ( =) can i say love?)

Its something she doesn't want it to happen again.. And she told me that this isn't a rejection, its just a matter of time spending with her and there will be acceptance down the road.. I'll just have to be waiting, as she told me that she can't afford to let go a guy like me~! Patience is a virtue eh? :)

Are wa are wa moshi ka suru to

(Could it be the beginnings of love,)
Sotto tsugeta ai no kotoba ka

(Burning gently like a flame just kindled?)

Had Fun And No Fun At All! So What Must I Do?

2006-12-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

Wad a day i had today.. I got to use the car for like 6 hours? Muahahah! Dun get to use the car this much though, and its rare! HehE~! Went to Singapore EXPO with Stewart to get his new iPOD and i got myself a new keyboard which now i am currently using.. Feels cool and sleek!(To me it is though) I also bought a World of Warcraft board game for Alex for like $135! Ouch! Can't believe he was willing to spend that much..

After we got everything, fetched Stewart home and headed back home to pass the car to my mum as she needed it for working purpose.. To my surprised, she told me to fetch her to work instead so i could use the car more later, but of course i've got to fetch her back later at night.. I was like "WEE~!" in my heart.. HEhE~! After dropping off my mum at her workplace, headed to Alex house to pass him the board game and played WOW TCG(World of Warcraft Trading Card Game) with Jeremy as he too came over to play.. And wad luck i had~! I owned Jeremy with just 1 health left! Muhahaha! Me RULE~! The match itself lasted for half an hour and it was a tough game! And talking about the time, it was 8pm when the match ended and i have to fetch my mum at 8.30pm.. And so as i wanted to go off, Alex and Jerk(Jeremy) requested that i drop them off at Century Square as Alex have to buy some stuff while Jerk is heading home soon.. Left to pick up my mum, reached her workplace at about 8.25pm and she came down 10 mins later.. Brought her home and feeling satisfied for the day as i got to use the car practically the whole day.. hehEH~! Talked with some frens on MSN.. And i finally got the chance to talk to the gal i like.. She's been busy with work and so yeah, that's y no chance to see her at all.. Been more then a week since i last saw her though.. And now she's telling me that she got cuts while she was working.. That got me shocked and worried for her.. And she told me that her cuts might have gotten infected and she is not doing anything to it.. I was like, WhoA! That got me even more worried and grumpy! And the craziest thing i was thinking is buy her medicated cream for her cut as i am meeting her in 2 days time(That's if nothing happens in her workplace that needed her to come back to work =\) But hey, why not? I could just buy the medicated cream tml and bring it out when i meet her just in case her cuts are not healed yet :).. *sigh* i'm worried for her.. Guess it would be normal as i'm thinking of her everyday and not a single day missed of not thinking of her..

Ever since that day when we both confessed to each other that we like each other, but i had this thought that even though she like me, that doesn't mean she would want to be my girlfriend right? She even told me that i could be loneliness as she just broke 2 weeks ago.. Wad can i say? I always think of her, and i'm here like a fool thinking is she doing the same thing, thinking of me too everyday? My instincts tell me she's not and her feelings for me is gone.. Basically not into me anymore.. I dunnoe.. I dun even dare to ask her to be my steady girlfriend as i'm afraid i would freaked her out and get rejected by her.. Buy my ex-colleague said to me "You won't know unless u try right?" True for that but....... i dun see any hints from her asking me to tackle her... She doesn't talk to me on MSN and sms me first.. Its always me that always start a topic to talk to her.. So that's y i dun get any hints..

I'm going NS soon and time is running out for me.. Should i ask her on the day when i meet her? Or should i just stay quiet and just go out with her casually? Wad must i do? =\

Hon no sukoshi yuuki wo dashitara

(If only I can be a little more brave)

Futari ga hitotsu ni nareru no ni

(We can become one)

Running Out Of Time

2006-12-02T14:11:00.000-08:00

HeH!!~ Suppose to post my first post yesterday but nvm, been busy yesterday with frens.. Was happily driving out my family's car to know more places. Been places where i have never been with the guidance of a friend. Honestly it was great to go places with the car. Never felt this way before i guess. HehEHE~!

After that got to get home quick as my parents wanna use the car :(.. Sad! but at least i had my fun with the driving and travelling. After that went to another fren's house to play WOW TCG, and i finally won him the first time out of 6 to 7 rounds since the we started playing? heHhehe~! Yeah i suck at these kind of games but hey, its not a matter of win or lose, its about playing the game and have fun.. Muahahah! Played games and watched how physics work on my friend's com, i was like wow! @_@.. I've never knew that physics could actually defy gravity! (I dun learn physics so dun mind me.. Heh~!) Left the house after that to meet another friend to go HIGH. HIGH is a cyber cafe cum bars, which is basically a lan shop with a clubbing feel. Hehe~! But its a great place and we stayed there all night til 5.30am this morning til we got home. So tired and sleepy when i got home. But during all these things that i did yesterday, i'm always thinking of someone. Someone who i wanna spend time with but unfortunately, she's busy with loads of stuff. Wad more is that i'm going into NS in just 10 days from now. 12/12/2006 will be the day i will be shaved on my head. hehe~! That's y i wanna spend time with her.

I also got for her something, but i didn't get the chance to see and give it to her. I hope i could see her more often before going into NS. That's just wad i hoped for as i'm really running out of time now.

Boku Ga Ai Wo Tsutaete Yuku

(I'll Keep Showing My Love For You)

This Is Just The Beginning

2006-11-27T16:20:00.000-08:00

Just started off with this blog, How long has it been sinced i last blogged, maybe about a year i guess. I practically forgot how to remake its settings, but anyway all is well as i managed to get through it. Had a previous blog, but it has been deleted about a year ago for someone who used to be in my life.

Anyway that's in the past and it has nothing to do with this one. Won't be posting till 1st Dec as this blog will be officially ready on that day. This post is just a start off for as this is just the beginning. :)